As you may have noticed, here at D2D we’ve moved away from following certain themes and topics, so that we could maintain a more conversational, casual flow of discussion here.

It was a great idea, really. Before, when we were posting based on specific themes, I’d see of all kinds of fantastic resources and then kill myself trying to think of a way to fit them into the topic of the month. Or I’d have an idea for a post that seemed especially timely or helpful, but then I’d file it away to post about later, when it fit the theme du jour. (I never did. They never did.)

Several years ago, before I’d gotten serious about my freelancing career, I was talking with somebody about whether or not I REALLY wanted to write for magazines.

"I mean, I love to write," I said. "I’d love to write for a living. But I want to write about what I WANT to write about, not what somebody ELSE tells me I have to write about. I don’t want anyone else telling me what to dooooooo." 

Somewhere along the line, though, I gave in, and now have even become so accustomed to writing for others that writing for myself no longer comes as naturally as it once did. Perhaps I simply don’t have the time, brainpower or creativity left to let a flood of ideas flow from my fingertips after filing how-to stories on contracted, assigned topics.

Once upon a time, I was a prolific blogger (long before D2D or any of my current blogs, I had a regularly-updated personal blog). My entries were fun and off-the-cuff and plentiful. And essays; I was forever starting (and sometimes even finishing) essays about a variety of topics. And I dabbled in poetry and half-written short stories and even plays. On the other hand, I had a very hard time coming up with ideas that anyone else might like to buy. I had a hard time tailoring my early articles to the markets I was writing for. I was overflowing with stuff I wanted to write. The only problem was that much of it wasn’t publishable.

There’s that tradeoff thing again. Most of us already know that the life of a working writer–especially a working writer with children–doesn’t usually mean a life of luxurious creativity, choosing only the projects one feels passionate about, and having plenty of time for everything else in our lives–being there for our children for all of their waking moments, practicing yoga for two hours a day, and perhaps a hobby, like breeding and training hairless guinea pigs for profit. We can have SOME of these things, and on a good day, we might manage to squeeze it all in, but day in and day out, something’s gotta give. And so it goes with our careers. Last year I was giving a talk to a group of college students in a writing for publication class, and I told them "When you’re first starting out, you have to make a choice: Either you can write only what you want to, when you want to, on the topics that you want to; OR, you can make a living at this." Okay, so it’s possible you could make a million dollars off your first novel, but you’d STILL have to put in a lot of time before you see a dime. There’s always a tradeoff, and I think we have to be prepared to make it when we are getting started. It helps to know, very specifically, what your career goals are. Somebody who wants to make a name for herself writing serious think-pieces for the Atlantic should probably choose a different path from someone who wants to pay the bills by writing advertorials. And if you’re moving your career along in a certain direction, the tradeoff is that you may just not have as much time or energy left for other things.

But isn’t it great? We can choose! And we can have the writing life and career that works for us right now and a year from now, whether that means we want to pen the occasional story when we can take a moment out of raising our families, or whether we’re hoping to build a career writing for magazines. If tomorrow I decided that I was tired of writing as my main source of income, I could get a different job and still write essays and stories and even magazine articles only on topics that move and excite me. I’m a writer for life, but I can choose the way writing fits into my day-to-day existence right now and change it later.

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s exciting. It means I can be many things during my lifetime. It means that the novel I have always felt is in me somewhere has time to percolate until I’m in a place in my life that I can get it down. Making a choice sometimes feels like giving something up, but I like to think that I’m just making room in my future life for whatever I can’t do now.

And look–I managed to write a whole blog post, without anyone telling me what to do. See? Turns out I’ve still got it

–Happy writing!

Meagan

There are days when I wonder, "WHY am I doing this to myself?" The schedule juggling and the child care cancellations and the tantrums (the kids’) and the tantrums (mine) and the deadlines and the stress. And a Pithy Thought About the Writing Life came to me the other night as I talked with my husband, who is contemplating a career change but has no earthly idea what he’d like to do. He mentioned sales, saying he’d have to really believe in a product in order to sell it. And I agreed, saying I wouldn’t want to put myself through the stress of a sales career if my heart wasn’t in it.

That made me think of a writing career (which, don’t be fooled, involves sales–you’re selling your talent and ability to deliver).

I haven’t been freelancing for all that long, but ever since I got the sense that I could succeed at it, I’ve felt lighter inside. I’d switched majors three or four times in college, jumped from job to job after, and even spent a tragic amount of money on a now-dormant legal career, but never found "it." Home. When I caught on that you can make a decent living writing for my beloved magazines, I finally grasped that long-elusive vibe I’d seen in friends who felt really passionate about their livelihoods.

I don’t feel that writing is the only thing at which I could be happy (member of the idle rich, National Geographic photographer, stand-up comic, over-the-hill inde rock band leader), but it’s the best fit for me right now, and that’s really comforting. Especially during the times when a check is four weeks late or a source who insisted would call YOU instead of the other way around leaves you waiting like the cable guy or dishwasher repairman.

You really have to love writing to endure all of this tail-chasing, rejection, and deadline despair. Because when you see your byline or read that graph and think, "I wrote that?" "Yeah, I nailed that!" or cash that check, it all feels worth it somehow. To quote that kid at the end of X-Files episodes, I made this is a pretty heady feeling and a pretty great way to make a living, but you’ve gotta love writing to get there.

–Toni

Why do you write? If you couldn’t be a writer, what else would you do?

The kids’ inaugural head colds have migrated to me, and I’m a joy to behold, let me tell you. While I may threaten to share "before and after" photos of my crazy-cluttered office, I promise not to send you trembling under your computer desks in fear of glimpsing my Kleenex-addled face.

In the past, getting sick has been a huge worry of mine as a freelancer. We all know that Mom isn’t allowed to get sick. Nobody will bring her chicken soup or give her the day off from housework or kid-schlepping. And for us writers, deadlines are deadlines, regardless of our symptoms. Or are they?

I freely admit that I’ve requested and received deadline extensions due to illness. To me, as with most things, it’s a balancing act. If it’s a huge-for-me market I’ve just cracked, I’ll prop my laptop over the toilet bowl if I have to in order to make that deadline. But if I have an ongoing relationship with an editor based on mutual regard and trust and a good sense of his or her needs and time constraints, I’ll ask for the occasional extension if my body and brain simply refust to cooperate. And you know what? The world hasn’t ended because I dared to extend a deadline.

I’m not advocating that you go crazy with this approach, but I think those of you reading who either work as professional writers or aspire to be one are doing so with kids underfoot in part out of a desire for flexibility–in choosing our career paths and having the great good fortune to be home with our kids. So when life forces us to slow down, know that it’s okay to take heed of those "you really could use some rest" warning signs. We may have to manage our own deadlines, but those of us who work from home also don’t have to portion out sick days through a monolithic HR department, either.

So even though a few interviews and two deadlines loom for me this week, I’m slowing down in other ways to conserve energy and precious brain power. Most housework can wait, and I’m not shy about asking my hard-working husband to chip in even though he commutes a long way and works outside the home. I’m skipping all non-vital errands and activities and resting up as much as possible, knowing that if I push too hard, I’ll just remain sick that much longer.

Consider these ideas as you tentatively enter cold and flu season, and remember to be kind to yourself and think of ways to slow down when you’re not feeling well. Your family and colleagues will understand and adapt, just as you will for them. How do you cope when illness and deadlines collide?

–Toni

How many times have you done one of the following?

• Put off getting childcare you desperately need to work because you can’t justify the cost. No, you’ll just find a way to write that 2,000-word article after everyone’s gone to bed, when your eyelids are hovering at half-mast
• Found yourself interrupting your work to tend to requests for snacks or break up a squabble–when your spouse is also in the house, watching TV or reading the newspaper
• Apologized to your spouse for asking him or her to watch the kids while you make a deadline

July’s theme is Taking Yourself Seriously. I’d like to tell you something I learned the hard way: nobody is going to take your writing seriously until you take it seriously yourself. Not your husband or wife or partner, not your kids, not your mother, and certainly not the editor you’re trying to impress.

It can be really difficult to do this, whether we’re just starting out or have been established for years. When we aren’t widely published or making a lot of money from writing, it’s hard to justify the time we spend working on it. Sometimes, even when we are well-established, it can feel like we’re letting somebody down if we’re taking time away from family needs to work–even when we’re squeezing writing into the hours nobody else wants from us (usually sometime after midnight). Hiring child care or household help can seem like a luxury we neither need nor deserve. Asking the spouse to help out in the off-hours just seems unfair. After all, doesn’t he (or she) deserve a break, too?

But here’s the thing–if you’re serious about having a writing career, it’s illogical to try to cram writing in after every other commitment in your life. It simply won’t work. There has to be an investment made in your role as a writer, whether it’s financial, or time, or even emotional–the mindset that you deserve to have it and that it’s valuable not just to you but the whole family. Think of it this way: if you were working outside of the home, it’s not as though you’d look at childcare, or a work wardrobe, or a business-related trip as an expense you couldn’t justify. And I’ve never heard of a single mother expecting her husband to tote a toddler to the office with him.

I’m not arguing that every writer needs or has to have child care when they’re just getting started. I didn’t for a while, for a variety of reasons. Often, money is so tight that the budget simply won’t allow for child care expenses, no matter how badly you want a sitter. In those cases, you have to improvise for a while. Some people make a commitment to keeping their children at home while they work, and I respect and admire that. But if they’re going to gain momentum–without completely losing their minds and burning out after a few months–there’s still going to have to be compromises made in some other area. It’s not about child care, specifically–what you really need is a mindset that your writing is a priority. It’s not shoved to the bottom of the list somewhere after vacuuming the drapes. If that means you have to get somebody else to vacuum the drapes, so be it. If you don’t want to use a sitter, then your partner or spouse might have to take over for you in the evenings and on weekends so you can write. Don’t apologize for it. Your career is not unimportant, and it’s not selfish. Even if you aren’t making money yet, the time you’re putting in now is building a solid foundation for income later. That’s what owning your own small business–and really, being a working writer is running a small business–is all about. You put in a lot of hours at the beginning for a payoff down the road.

It’s not always easy to convince the people in our lives that what we’re doing is important and valuable and that there will be a return on investment later. That’s why you have to convince yourself first. If you aren’t certain that you deserve or need the family to invest in your career, fake it until you make it. Don’t apologize for your work. Don’t grovel or beg for scraps of time. Figure out what you absolutely need and arrange to make it happen. Expect some resistance, but don’t give in. Just re-state what you need over and over until it sinks in.

This month at D2D we’ll be talking about taking yourself seriously. We’ll tackle some of the age-old writing-parent questions: how can I afford child care when I can’t afford child care but I need child care to work? How do I get my family on board with my plans? How do I get them to respect my working time and space? How do I get editors to take me seriously when it’s obvious I’m an at-home writing parent? We’ll offer practical tips and inspiration, but one thing that’s going to pop up again and again is that it starts with you. Take yourself seriously. Start right now. What is one thing you can do to invest in your business? We’d love to hear about it in the comments, below. And look for more posts about giving yourself–and your writing career–the respect both of you deserve.

Happy writing!

–Meagan

So far, this month’s theme of "New Year, New Plan" included discussions about goal setting and tearing down the traditional resolution to think about incremental changes. Let’s continue applying some of our ideas about simplicity and clarity to our businesses.

In this week’s interview with accomplished author Kelly James Enger, something she said really struck a chord:

New writers often don’t plan how they’ll spend their time very well—then they get on the Internet or start researching an idea and realize they just lost two hours. Deciding what markets you want to target first and/or what subject areas will make you more efficient (and less distractible) and planning your day/writing time will help you make the most of it.

The more ideas you have, the more markets you crack, the more momentum you build–it can start to become overwhelming. How do I track all of this information? Where should I sell this next idea?

As your career begins building–or even if you’ve been established for a while–it can never hurt to sit down and have a planning session with yourself. Be your own career coach and examine:

• how you’re using your time;
• where you’re frittering away the minutes, hours, days–and opportunities; and
• how you can up your efficiency.

This doesn’t just apply to those of us who write for consumer or trade magazines. As Kelly pointed out in our interview, she budgets time to work on her books, otherwise, those books wouldn’t make it to our bookshelves to help us boost our careers! As she steps it up in one area (honing a book proposal), she cuts down on pitching to magazines in order to sell that book, all the while balancing incoming paycheck projects already slated for deadline. We must each do a similar balancing act - examining what’s working, honing what’s working, and ditching what’s not.

You’ve thought about choosing one good thing to improve your business. Keep applying that idea, adding one "one thing" incrementally as you build good work and business habits.

You’ve considered how to set goals that’ll stick to your ribs because they have some heft to them if you set them properly.

Now think about how you use your time and how you might best focus your energy. Do you need to block out time daily, weekly, and/or monthly for planning? Is it time for you to consider specializing in one or two areas? Maybe it’s time for a new agent or to ditch that low-paying PITA market in order to allow a bigger fish to swim through.

Have a great weekend!

Toni

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your progress, add your insights, or ask questions on our message boards. Click here to comment!

We are so excited to have you join us in the launch of From Diapers to Deadlines, a web resource for parents who write professionally–or aim to. It’s our goal to provide you with the support, encouragement, and advice you need to balance two big jobs–professional writing and parenting.

From Diapers to Deadlines is for all parents who are also working writers, whether your oldest baby is still in diapers or your youngest child is a senior in high school; whether you came to writing after having children or are a veteran writer trying to figure out how to balance a baby in the mix; and whether you write books, freelance for magazines and newspapers, or write press releases for corporations. In short, if you’re a working writer–or an aspiring working writer–and a parent, this is the place for you.

Each month we’ll feature a mix of new content and evergreen resources–all FREE–to help you shape your career and balance your life, like inspiring interviews with writing parents and other experts, information-rich podcasts you can listen to at your convenience (say, while driving carpool), weekly challenges to give you a kick in the pants, and a message board where you can meet up with other writing parents to talk about challenges and acheivements, to ask for advice, and to discuss the finer points in the art of balancing a family with a writing career. If you’re a veteran writer, we hope you’ll stop in the message boards to discuss career ups and downs with other established professionals. If you’re just getting started, don’t be shy–poke around, read the content, and introduce yourself! We look forward to watching your career grow.

January’s theme is New Year, New Plan. We’ll be talking about creating a business plan for your writing career, giving your income a boost, and how writers can feed both their families and their souls through their work. Read our interview with accomplished writer and mother Jennifer Margulis and, later this month, Kelly James-Enger; participate in our weekly challenges, check in for regular updates to our blog, look for a podcast around the middle of the month, and visit the message boards, where we’ll be discussing all these topics and much more. And during the month of January, anyone who registers a username and posts on the message boards will be automatically entered in a drawing for a FREE copy of Kelly James-Enger’s book, Six-Figure Freelancing!

Feel free to visit the About Us page to find out more about Toni and Meagan and how this site came to be. As we add more content, the blog posts will be separated into the categories on the left, and we will archive old content so you can find it in the future. If you’d like to be notified when we update the site, please click the "subscribe" link, or add us to your RSS feeds.

Again, welcome. We’re so glad to have you here.

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your progress, add your insights, or ask questions on our message boards. Click here to comment!