Hmmm…I’m mostly of the same mind as you. Things feel a bit different as that fateful time approaches, however. Our plan had been that the kids would attend 2 years of community college, then transfer to a state university. Somehow, however, our oldest (fairly well motivated, so far) is attending a state university as a freshman. The story of how we were sucked down the rabbit hole of SAT scores and college applications (I HATE THEM!) is too long to relate here; but it pays to realize that sometimes things don’t happen as you plan.

But I agree - college shouldn’t be a given. For many it acts only as an expensive finishing school and provides little in the way of real-world preparation. I think a few years in the military should be considered as an option by any able-bodied male (our son applied for a ROTC scholarship, the best of both worlds); and certainly a year spent working first provides lots of incentive to study hard if the teen then goes to college.

But remember - you may not want that teen to be living at home at age 18. Sometimes, that’s not a very pleasant situation. In the words of one of my friends, “My teen son would have eaten his own head if he had had to stay here another year.” My son felt similarly.

I guess what I’m saying is don’t be too sure of anything! Isn’t that always the way with parenthood?

Wow - just went and read all the comments. You are so selfish, having those 5 children before setting up their college funds.

sububancorrespondent — sarcasm? I hope so.

Some of the most “successful” people I know (my husband included) paid for their own college educations. And, like Meagan, I don’t define success solely in monetary terms.

We are a nation that still clings to the fiction of the American Dream, yet we somehow feel that our own children are above — or will be somehow irreparably damaged by — hard work.

As a teacher, I have encountered more parents from stable socioeconomic backgrounds who enable their children to slack off; They call to complain when too much homework is assigned, call to complain when their children get Cs on papers that really deserve Ds, and so forth. Don’t I realize, as an educator, that the C on this student’s transcript is going to prevent him from getting into the college of his choice? Don’t I understand what I am doing to this child by giving him a [well-deserved] C?

On the other hand, I have encountered several students, primarily children of immigrants, who bust their butts every day, who work hard, who WANT education because they understand just how lucky they are to be here. They recognize and appreciate the opportunities that are laid out before them.
By and large, these are the kids who don’t have college funds, but I know, with every fiber of my being, that these are the kids who will find success in this country. I want one of these kids to be pediatrician, my oncologist, my financial adviser, my lawyer, my senator, my child’s teacher.

Working hard builds character. It instills in people - children, teenagers, college students, and adults alike - a sense of purpose, a sense of accomplishment, and the ability to genuinely appreciate. It also helps us recognize the accomplishments AND plights of others. Passive consumption (let’s face it, a college education IS a product) has never and will never build character. It will never lead to happiness. It will never lead to the kind of personal success that each of us wants for our children.

I’m with Meagan. Hopefully, if we’ve done our jobs well, our children will have the character, the wherewithal, and the motivation that they’ll need to build happy lives.

Lisa, Illinois

sorry to suburbancorrespondent — I just realized that you are the author of BOTH posts preceding mine!!

It’s not being selfish, it’s being realistic. While are parents may be ready to support us, some parents may not. It is a great idea to start earning money before heading to college, because you learn the value of money and experience how difficult it is to earn. Another good alternative is to get accredited online degrees that allows manage your schedule especially when your juggling work and school at the same time.