Clara is such an easy baby that I can’t honestly say life is much harder with her than it was before she was here. Even though Jon’s now back in Chicago most of the week working, I don’t have that crazed feeling I thought I’d have, being left alone with a newborn in addition to four big kids. She eats, sleeps, and poops; the rest of the time she looks calmly around the room. She’s snuggly and rarely cries, and of course, the nice thing about those older kids is that they’re eager baby-holders. With an 11-year-old in the house who loves nothing more than to hold his baby sister while he watches the History Channel, I haven’t gone a day without a shower and my morning tea and toast. And when you’ve got a tiny baby, little things like your daily breakfast ritual and not smelling bad can really make the difference between relaxed and frazzled.

The boys themselves have been challenging lately. My initial thought was that it must be jealousy, but then I considered that these kids are used to grappling for their position in the family; Clara’s entrance hasn’t changed that much, especially since she’s so easy and portable. I’m still getting in ****plenty**** of games of Old Maid and Memory and I Spy. Plenty. But the hospital stay and all the upheaval that brought with it probably has something to do with it. And part of it is just the time of year–early spring in the Great Lakes region is never easy on a mother of young kids; this year has been particularly hard (I mean, come ON–snow in the final week of March?) There’s been too much TV-watching, too much fighting over the computer; too many nasty phrases (”Shut up!” “You stupid!” “I hate you!”) tossed around.

One problem with having kids in a wide variety of ages is that the younger kids always look up to the older kids. That’s great when the older kids are being model citizens, but not so great when they display more unpleasant habits. It’s fairly easy to get the older kids to stop throwing around insults once the threat of losing computer privileges is on the line, but not nearly as easy to get a three-year-old to drop it. Especially a stir-crazy three-year-old who hasn’t gotten outside nearly enough lately and is dying for something to do.

I’m trying to remember that things always get better as soon as we are able to get outside for a big chunk of each day, and that soon I’ll be feeling more up to carting Clara out of the house along with the two littler guys and heading to the park or beach.

For now, we’re enjoying our self-made cocoon as much as we can, and I’m going easy on myself about the too-much-TV, too-much-computer, and rather uninspired dinners. (No, kids, you will not actually turn into a spaghetti noodle if we eat pasta several times a week).

And though the boys are kind of a handful at the moment, I’m also realizing that it’s more true than I ever realized that the more kids you have, the easier this whole newborn thing seems to get. Besides being hungry or having a dirty diaper, Clara’s other major dislike is being lonely. I didn’t figure this out until we’d been home from the hospital almost a week–probably because up until then, she hadn’t experienced it! One day while the boys were at school and Owen was eating breakfast, I put her in the SweetPeace, which she usually loves, so I could sit at the table and check my email. She kept crying, and nothing–not changing the speed of the rocking, or the music, or anything–helped. I finally figured it out–since the dining-room table is behind the SweetPeace, she couldn’t see me. She was lonely! So I moved into her range of vision and she was perfectly happy again. With four big brothers all eager to love on her, it was the first time she’d been unable to see one or all of us since we brought her home. I have a feeling she’s not going to have to experience loneliness too much in her life…sounds like one lucky baby to me.