waiting…

Warning, lots of talk of baby gear ahead…you knew I couldn’t make it through the whole pregnancy without talking about pink sweaters, diapers, and slings at least once, right?

I’m now just 5 days from my due date, and though I have been pretty good about keeping myself busy up until the end of pregnancy, my deadlines are mostly all met and now I’m just…waiting. Over at my WEtv blog, I wrote about ways pregnant women can pass the time at the end of pregnancy. Mostly, I’m watching HGTV and griping to myself about its obsession with granite, stainless and cherry kitchens, and catching up on shows I’ve been meaning to watch forever but have just never gotten around to (thanks to Hulu.com, my new favorite website).

I’m also sorting through my stuff to make sure I’ve got everything I need for the new baby. My sister-in-law Jenna gave me a huge box full of hand-me-down clothes, blankets, and diapers, including a supply of Fuzzi Bunz, which I’ve been eyeballing for years but was always too cheap to buy for myself. She also passed on her Maya Wrap and Moby Wrap, and another fabulous friend of mine sent me an ERGO baby carrier. Between those and my Mod Mum pouch, I should be more than set for ways to carry this little one!

Graco sent me a SweetPeace to try out, which I’ve been coveting since I saw one at a Graco-sponsored party for the Chicago Moms Blog over a year ago (I didn’t even have a baby at the time, nor was I pregnant, so it didn’t make much sense to get one then). I’m not usually one to get excited over swings and other battery-operated baby things, but this thing is cool–it’s meant to mimic the natural soothing motions moms make (you know, that swinging side-to-side thing we do?). I’ll report back as soon as I have an actual baby to test it out with.

I’ve already got a Graco Quattro Duo Stroller, which will be great for longer walks with my two youngest, but even though it’s a pared-down version of bigger doubles it’s still a bit heavy and hard to fold up. I’ve been thinking for ages about getting one of those stand-on tandem strollers where the older child can perch on a back jumpseat for shorter trips and travel, but haven’t wanted to invest the money in one. But then my writer’s group sent me a very generous gift certificate to Babies R Us, so I think I’ll be getting the Joovy Caboose Stand-On Tandem Stroller with it.

And the lovely ladies at Blessed Nest sent me an organic Nesting Pillow. I have had many nursing pillows in the past, but this thing beats the Boppy and Breast Friend hands-down. It’s filled with buckwheat hulls, so it conforms to your shape and the baby’s shape. It’s plumper than a lot of nursing pillows, so it raises the baby high enough to nurse without having to round your shoulders forward. My sister-in-law tried it and loved it…I can’t wait until I have a baby to try it out with too, but in the meanwhile it’s making a pretty comfy wedge pillow for my back.

It’s a lot of stuff, but between all the hand-me-downs and a few generous gifts I’ve gotten from friends, I’ve spent very little money on this baby. And honestly, I know that if I had to I could get by with fewer slings, fewer clothes, no fancy baby soother, and just one stroller…but it’s fun to watch the baby things collect and know that it’s not much more time before I’ll be putting an actual, live baby into the various gowns and slings and stroller seats.

I just hope she doesn’t grow too fast. After all, my friend Jill sent me this Pottery Barn Kids sweater with a coordinating pair of jammies (monogrammed GRL) in newborn size:

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Wouldn’t it be a shame if she only got to wear something so ridiculously adorable once or twice? I hope she doesn’t grow quite as fast as the boys all have. They’ve been out of their newborn clothes by about two weeks of age, and it’s so sad to pack those things away so quickly.

So now that the supplies have been bought and the Hulu shows have nearly all been watched, I go back to…waiting. Any suggestions for light, yet absorbing reading material one can still get into even when one’s brain has become a little…foggy?

Yes, this is us…

My husband and I are quoted in this article about commuter marriages , (I’m quoted under my married name Meagan Dodson. Sometimes having two names gets confusing.)

I wonder how many other people out there are in a similar situation? Long-term? Short-term? Not sure?

what I’ve been up to

I promise, this post will not contain any lectures about blogging or writing! Just a little summary of what’s up with me.

Well, first of all, I’m still pregnant. My due date is about 11 days away, so I’m coming up on the end…but with my record of going past my due date, I don’t expect any action on that front for a while. I’m still documenting my pregnancy over at WEtv.com–lately I’ve written about whether or not I should microblog my birth, the baby stuff moms really need, and birth anxiety (it’s not just for newbies!)

The Octomom fallout has kept me busy–I’ve done interviews with several newspapers and other media outlets over the past couple weeks, and you can read two of the articles here and here. I was also on last Saturday’s episode of The John & Ken Show on KFI AM 640 in LA. Updated: here’s an MP3 of my interview..

My article “8 Ways Your Baby Says I Love You” is in this month’s issue of Parenting and also available online. There are some strange typos in the online version that I hope are being fixed now.

Mostly, I’m just trying to keep myself as busy and distracted as possible so I don’t hyper-focus on the fact that this baby is going to be here…soon. Because when I start thinking too much about that, I find myself wondering EXACTLY WHEN that’s going to happen, which is just a recipe for that ‘watched pot’ syndrome I know all too well, having subjected myself to it over the last three pregnancies. This time I’m working hard on keeping my life plugging along as normal, so that when BabyGirl does finally decide to make her entrance, it’ll be sort of a pleasant surprise. I’ll do my best to keep you posted.

how to save good writing

Okay, so maybe that title is a bit melodramatic. But like I said in my last post, I believe that good writing is in danger–if not of disappearing, then at least of being eclipsed by all the not-so-great content out there.

In the last week there’s been a flurry of posts by mom bloggers about writing vs marketing. Lindsay Ferrier wrote on her blog as well as in her newspaper column about navigating the sometimes-uncomfortable line between blogging and marketing. Mom-101 reminds us that unless we provide great content, whatever marketing house of cards we create is at risk of falling down. Kim at Hormone-Colored Days wrote a post further summing up the “bloggers on blogging” discussion (with links!) And BusyMom suggests we all accept that we disagree, do our own thing and get back to writing, already.

Once upon a time I would have agreed wholeheartedly with BusyMom’s “write and let write” philosophy. The first time I went to BlogHer I couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about in the “should mom bloggers market themselves” panels. Advertise, don’t advertise, review products or don’t, who cares? I remember thinking. If writing is good, I’ll read it. If it’s not, I won’t.

But I sense a certain danger now, because daily it becomes harder and harder to sift through it all and find the good stuff. Print publications are slashing budgets, cutting content and disappearing altogether, and they’ve long been the bread and butter for serious writers. If fewer good writers are able to find paying outlets that allow them to pursue their craft while still paying the mortgage, it may mean good writers (yes–even some of those bloggers we love so much! What, do you think they’re all sitting on fat trust funds?) dropping off the radar more and more, being replaced by product shilling and other dubious “content”.

I still think people should be able to do whatever they want to do. And that means that bloggers can write whatever they want, and I can choose to read or not read. But as writers and readers, I think we need to work hard to make sure the good stuff is still out there and just as visible as the not-so-good.

But how? I came up with a short list of ways we can support writers and good writing.

1) Read good writing, and read it in a variety of outlets. Duh, right? But let me go on. At Lindsay’s blog, a commenter complained that as soon as some bloggers begin writing for paid outlets, the content on their own blogs suffers and more and more it’s about linking out to other, paid ventures. As somebody who does this for a living, my initial reaction was “well, duh”. Here’s the thing, folks: many writers are either earning, or working toward earning, a living from their work and if the writing is good, they should. That’s how our society rewards what it values. That’s how writers manage to make the time to think, reflect, improve their craft, and write good content rather than spending their days slinging burgers to pay the mortgage.

The fact is, good writing IS often a commercial enterprise. People who have decided to do this as a career or even a serious hobby put a lot of time and effort into creating content worth reading, and they absolutely deserve (and need, unless they are independently wealthy) to be compensated for it.

In my opinion, linking out to her work on larger, paying sites is a good sign. It means that the writer can spend her time writing, and not worrying about boosting her SEO rankings or which advertising network will get her the best return. By allowing a larger company to worry about critically selecting her work, marketing her work, publishing her work, and paying her for her work, she can whittle down the number of hats she must wear, and eliminate much of the temptation to get involved in ethical quagmires like pay for post schemes. Plus, even the best writers can use a good editor from time to time. Let’s not fall into the trap of thinking that writing is more pure or honest or real just because it’s on a wordpress blog rather than in a magazine or big website. Good writing is good writing, and often it’s a team effort. Reward it with your click-throughs and reads and comments, regardless of where it’s showing up.

2) Support good writing with your dollars. Eee! With DOLLARS? But the internet is supposed to be FREE! Again consider my previous point: the exchange of money is how our society shows what it values. Major publishing corporations that have been long-hailed for their quality reporting are now gone or in trouble, in no small part because a) they never figured out how to make money on the Internet and b) along the way, they started giving everything away for free (which we’ve become accustomed to, to the point that we feel entitled). Think about it: that hard-hitting newspaper article that took three reporters to write, a travel budget to research, a legal team to defend in case of libel suits….why on earth are we entitled to read something that requires that kind of money and time to produce absolutely free? Heck, we’ve developed such an entitlement complex that we now feel resentful if we have to plug in an e-mail address and zip code in order to read an article that took thousands and thousands of dollars and many, many hours to produce. So instead, we read a blogger’s commentary on the article and often never click through to read the original work. Who loses? In the end, all of us. If it’s not making any money, that kind of research and writing may well cease to exist.

It’s the same thing, albeit possibly on a smaller scale, with parenting articles and essays. It’s great that there’s so much fantastic free content out there, but trust me: as a writer who values what I do, it’s awfully hard to justify spending hours and hours writing “for free” when I have to help put food on the table, and many writers are in the same position I am. In order to support writers who take their craft seriously, we need to support publications and websites that consistently go above and beyond and–here’s the important part–pay their writers fairly for the hard work they put into producing said writing. Those publications need our financial support to continue being able to pay those writers and produce that content. Examples of good writing about motherhood include indie pubs like Brain, Child Magazine, but it can go beyond that, too. Magazines like Parenting and Parents, long denigrated for being “not real” enough, have gone out of their way in the past few years to include thoughtful, sometimes heart-wrenching essays (and blogs) about motherhood. They’re worth checking out next time you’re in the grocery store. I’d include Wondertime in my list, but alas–it’s ceasing publication. Many of those publications have a website component you can check out, and stand-alone sites like Babble.com and AlphaMom.com pay their writers and provide an audience so the writer doesn’t have to scramble for hits. The sites are supported by advertising, but writers don’t have to get involved in that end of it–again, they can just focus on the writing, and that’s why it’s good. Of course, not all blogs can afford to pay their writers (I write for one, and run another myself!) But the existence of sites that DO pay is what makes it possible for writers to keep writing for other outlets even when they DON’T. Click through, and read often.

3) Tweet less. Read and write more. GASP! Heresy! Hey, I love Twitter just as much as the next geek, but good writing does not, generally speaking, come in 140-character spurts. And lately I’ve felt like my twitter stream is little more than a collection of tweets and retweets about product giveaways. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Instead, we can use Twitter to find and promote the best writing out there, and then actually click through and read it. And we can take some of the time we might have been spending tweeting about holes in our socks and watching silly drama unfold around us and use it to scour the Internet for great writing…and maybe even produce some ourselves.

I’ve been guilty of not following all three of the above “rules” lately, but I’m going to make a concerted effort to try harder from now on, because it’s important to me. It’s worth the cost of a subscription to Brain, Child or the extra time it takes to click through and read a blogger’s work on a paying site.

Is it worth it to you? What are other ways we can support and promote good writing?

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About Meagan

Author and mom of five, writing about motherhood & family life, mind-body health, Midwest lifestyle, travel and more.

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