it’s my due date too, yeah

We’re gonna have a good time?

Today is the big day–my baby’s due date, according to my calculations. (My midwife had pegged my EDD as 3/10, two days ago, but to avoid getting myself prematurely worked up, I have been mentally going with the later date I came up with instead).

I’ve been 10, 3, and 10 days past my due date with the last three pregnancies. Really no reason to think this time will be any different.

And yet, this baby has been SO LOW for the last week and a half that I really wonder how much longer I can walk around like this. Actually, I barely CAN walk around like this. I made a point of not adopting “The Waddle” during my previous pregnancies, as easy as it would have been to give in to that penguin-like shuffle during the loose-ligament-ed last month or two. But this time, I’ve been waddling since 32 weeks along, apparently lacking either the physical ability or pride to fight it off a fifth time. Last night, everyone in the family was laughing at me because I wasn’t walking through the house…I was lumbering around, like a sleepy bear. I growled and resisted the urge to paw somebody in the head.

I’ve been napping every day. Sometimes twice a day. My brain is foggy and my body is heavy. And as eager as I am to go into labor, every night around 10 PM I think “Hmm, I’d love to have this baby, but maybe I’d just as soon wait until tomorrow now so I can get a full night’s sleep…”

Jon’s been commuting back and forth from Chicago as much as possible, and will be home tonight for at least four days (more, of course, if I have the baby!) Maybe once he’s here tonight I’ll feel settled enough to go into labor. Or maybe it’ll be another ten days. That’s the trick with letting babies come when they’re ready…there’s just no way of knowing when that’ll happen. As much as I know that the induction route is not for me, the end of each of my pregnancies gives me fresh understanding of why so many women make that choice. It’s HARD to wait, and it’s hard not being able to “do anything” to really get things moving. (Yes, I know all the natural methods of jump-starting labor, but I’ve done ‘em all and my babies still come late. I think they come when they’re ready, and while you can speed things up a bit, it’s often not enough to warrant the discomfort and other potential downsides of trying too much “jump-starting”.)

I’m trying to be patient, keep myself occupied (but not rushing-around busy) and just keep in mind that each day that passes brings me one day closer to when this little girl is going to show up. Easier said that done sometimes, but it’s what I’d tell a fellow expecting mom to do, so I suppose I need to practice what I preach.

And now, where was I? Oh yes. A snack, then a nap, then perhaps another snack. A moment of wonder when I feel a twinge, wondering if it could be The Real Thing. One of these times, it will be.

Tonight? Not likely, but possible. Either way, though, very, very soon.