Over on Twitter some moms are discussing potty-training, and it reminded me of a column I wrote a while ago on potty-training for the lazy. If you’re willing to wait, it really works! Here’s the (slightly updated) column:

As of today, one of my children is still in diapers. He’s got underwear, sure. And sometimes he even removes his own diaper to use the potty. But he spends most of his time with a protective layer of fiber filling around his parts.

By now you might be doing the mental arithmetic and thinking “Wait a second, isn’t her youngest over three years old?” Yep. I realize some may consider a three-year-old to be way too old for diapers. But while I know that plenty of little boys start potty training at closer to two—and sometimes before that—I’ve chosen the route of least resistance with all three of my kids. That is, the “wait until they want it more than I do” method of potty-training.

Now, I could try to sell you on the idea that I was putting off the potty only to save my children’s fragile self-esteem, which could be damaged by trying to coerce them into using the toilet before they were ready. And it’s true, I think, that forcing the issue on a child who’s just not ready for it yet can cause stress and anxiety.

But mostly, I’m just lazy. The truth is, I’d way rather change diapers than clean up puddles. Think the laundry gets overwhelming with four kids? Now imagine that plus all the extra underwear, pants, socks, sheets, mattress pads, and blankets that need to be washed during the “Oops!” and “Oops again!” phase of potty-training.

I know, I’ve got a baby on the way. And should Owen still be in diapers at that point, (though I hope he won’t), I know it’ll take a few extra minutes to do two diapers rather than one. But with two kids in diapers I can approach it as something like an assembly line: line ‘em up, lay ‘em down, wipe, wipe, diaper, diaper, and send them both on their merry and incontinent ways.

Let’s face it, even a completely potty trained child doesn’t necessarily create less work for moms. Boys—fully-grown ones included—aren’t exactly known for good toileting hygiene. I can’t count the number of times I scrub the floor around and behind the toilet every week, muttering “did they even TRY to hit the bowl?” under my breath. And as for washing little boy underwear—well, you never know what you might find. It’s usually best to handle the dirty laundry with gloves on, if you catch my drift.

And even when kids are good and ready for using the toilet, it’s an incredible amount of work for the parent. I—

Oh, wait. Owen needs help getting his pants off.

Okay, I’m back. Where was I? Oh yes, I—

Oh, wait. He needs help getting them back up.

See what I mean? That’s how my days will go as soon as we formally enter potty-learning-land, from the moment I’m shaken awake by an urgent three-year-old whispering “Mom, I gotta go potty!” to the last dry-pants check before I drop into bed asleep. Whether it’s help with pants off/pants on, getting positioned on the seat, wiping, flushing, or just plain old moral support, I’ll be there for every tinkle and…well, all the rest of it too.

And that’s not even including the near-misses. Though, I will say that hearing your husband yell “Whose POOP is this?” when finding an unwelcome surprise on the floor just outside the bathroom is pretty funny.

Apparently my relaxed approach to potty-training has rubbed off on the kids a little too much.

But mostly, it’s working out just fine. The average time to get my older three sons from all-diapers, all the time to almost-no-accidents has been about four days, as opposed to the weeks and weeks it often seems to take younger kids. So for me, waiting until after three years old was worth it, even if we did get a few raised eyebrows from people who thought three was “too old” to still be in diapers.

And barring serious regression on Owen’s part (or, God forbid, one of my older three), there’s just one more kid in the household with potty-training in her future. And I hear girls are easier to potty-train than boys and do it earlier to boot. So look out, diapers: your days are numbered.

What’s your potty-training philosophy?

Wow, I’m getting a lot of traffic from Allenna’s Freelance Write blog on About.com. Just wanted to let writing parents & aspiring writing parents know about a website I used to keep up with a freelancing friend of mine. It’s on hiatus at the moment, but there is a lot of great information in the archives–everything from e-mailing pitches to writing a query to following up with editors. If you’re just getting started, click the “basics” category.

Here’s the site: From Diapers To Deadlines

Thanks and like I said over at Allenna’s blog, I’m happy to answer questions, so if you have any, post ‘em in the comments section!

Lately my name has shown up in a few places online:

Allenna Tapia, the About.com Guide to Freelance Writing, made the nicest mention of my site over at her blog. She’s got some great information over there about starting and maintaining a freelance writing career; check it out!

I was interviewed for a Chicago Sun-Times article about surviving the holidays (okay, I’m a little late getting this one up!)

And, I was interviewed by Kelly Burgess for a Toddlers Today story on keeping little kids entertained while their big siblings play a sport or take part in another organized activity.

Would love more tips on that last one, since even my best ideas don’t seem to work forever!

You may have noticed that I haven’t done a lot of posting here over the last two weeks.

Over the holiday, I practiced the benign neglect…of my life.

Dishes went unwashed (not for an entire two weeks, mind you. In a family of six, the longest we can go is about a day, or people just stop eating or shovel food directly from the container into their mouths like animals). Floors went unswept. Bedtimes were ignored. Alarm clocks were turned off. Wake-up times were, some days, almost grossly late.

My kids ate all their Christmas stocking candy (and then when it was gone, scrounged around for leftover treats), laid around and read, played with their gifts and were basically a bunch of lazy slugs. Often none of us changed out of our pajamas at all until showering sounded like more fun than going any longer without a shower. Once I looked at my 11-year-old son and realized he’d been wearing the same shirt for three days.

We survived on Christmas leftovers, cereal, sandwiches, fruit and the occasional guilt-induced salad or steamed broccoli. We did a little traveling but mostly stayed home. My husband kept stealing my new Crabtree & Evelyn bathrobe, which is so ridiculously soft you feel like you could fall asleep instantly after putting it on. And then he’d fall asleep instantly after putting it on.

I got hardly any e-mail. I sent hardly any e-mail. I turned on my instant messenger, but most days there was nobody on so I didn’t do any chatting. I checked in with Twitter but barely engaged in any conversation. I mulled over a few ideas for new projects but didn’t do much work on any of them.

Of course, we had to make up for our sloth today by paying a little extra attention to restoring the house to its former glory…er, adequacy. And some work had to be done to get the kids ready for returning to school tomorrow (clean underwear and socks suddenly seemed a lot more necessary, and I realized I’d never bothered to see if they had any school notes that needed dealing with over the holiday. And there were the two-weeks-neglected lunchboxes to deal with…)

But basically, none of us accomplished anything for two weeks. And it was glorious.

How was your holiday? If it was as lazy as mine, I hope you’re not wasting your time feeling guilty about it. After all that sluggishness, who has the energy for regret?