Hear! Hear! Very insightful, Megan. Each of those thoughts has been running through my head as the story has “unfolded”. Some Fertility Doc needs to be hauled before a jury of his/her peers. This is medicine gone wrong.
Too bad too because there are so many women (including me) who have been ever so grateful to receive fertility treatments of one kind or another. Whether it’s just shots or full implant of embryos. What the heck??

I hope it doesn’t become a reality show either. Thanks for your thoughts.

I, too, think that the fertility docs are most in the wrong here. It would seem that implanting that many embryos would require a careful interviewing/evalauation of the patient to establish motivation and ability to care for the current and potential children.

It angers me to read the fertility doctor who runs the clinic state essentially that it’s not up to him to decide who get’s what treatment. That hands-off, not-my-responsiblity attitude is only going to allow the envelope to be pushed even further when it comes to fertility treatments.

I dearly hope those kids will be ok and that some sort of father (?) will appear in the picture to raise the family.

Good post!

I couldn’t agree with you more. Kudos on the insightful and thoughtful post.

:–) Nell
CasualFridayEveryday.com
Twitter.com/casualeveryday

THe one theory being passed around since no one actually knows what happened is that she was able to get fertility drugs on her own online, and took them without medical supervision or guidence, resulting in 8 embryos she then refused to reduce.

Something is very wrong if you can get those drugs easily, and endanger so many lives this way.

The constant implication that she NEEDS a father to be in there is a bit much as well. She needs support-it doesn’t NEED to be a father.

Meagan, this is great. So many issues here. I’d like to say that other people’s reproduction is none of my business — but it’s kind of like someone in the neighborhood painted their house neon green with orange sequins. I’m trying not to look, it’s they’re house, but … sheesh, that’s pushing it.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

Myrna, you’re right–I’ve been thinking of this through the lens of somebody with a big family, and how this brings people who opt to have a lot of kids under fire. But it also casts an unfairly negative light on women who use fertility treatments responsibly. I hope the story goes away quickly because it’s just so not reflective of most people who want to have big families, or most women who choose fertility treatment.

Thordora, I’ve noticed that hyperfocus on “where’s the father” too. It seems obvious this is not a dad who wants to be involved in these kids’ lives, so I’m not so sure that’s the solution here.

Also–is it *possible* to wind up with 8 embryos through fertility meds alone?

I think I took a harsher stance on this in my blog post alone if only through the questions I asked.

First of all, she worked at a fertility treatment centre. Maybe she got this done for free or at a very reduced cost??

Secondly, I think it’s very possible that she had glamorous ideas about this and then through her pregnancy received enough negative feedback, and after the birth, that she’s cowering away realizing there ain’t going to be no TLC special. Because she didn’t get this way from drugs alone. Her babies were implanted. And she doesn’t have a husband (these babies may not even be hers– maybe they were embryos about to be destroyed and she wanted to rescue them or something). And doesn’t have financial means to care for her children.

I think it’s absolutely humanly impossible for two people on their own to look after 14 kids under the age of 7. And when 8 of them are infants, I think that is beyond impossible, if such a word even existed. I think this situation is bound to end in neglect because they simply can’t do it, if they don’t let people in to help. And that statement from the grandfather that they have some big house somewhere that no one is going to find… sounded weird.

Anyway, if you want to see more of what I think, see my own blog post about it. It’s from yesterday.

Natasha, you raise some really good points and questions in your post, especially about what the woman’s possible motivations might have been. For me, just trying to guess at her possible motives is exhausting. And I doubt I’ll ever really know what’s in her heart or head. So while I think this is a disturbing story, it’s an isolated one–like you said, NO OTHER woman with 14 kids got 8 of them through IVF treatment. And therefore, it doesn’t really say anything about anyone except for this one very unusual family. So I hesitate to draw conclusions, because how much can I ever pretend to know?

I’m not sure if it’s impossible for two people to raise 14 kids, but I do think it’s impossible to care for 8 newborns without help. I hope she gets it, even though I understand that it’s distasteful to many that she’d put herself in a situation where she cannot take care of her kids alone. (Of course, *that* is not exactly that unusual of a situation. I think most of us need help at some point…just probably not to this extent).

It’s tempting to pick apart this woman’s life and try to uncover why she did what she did, how it happened, and whatever else.

I’ll refrain from that.

I just know that I, myself, couldn’t begin to fathom having that many children to take care of, either alone, with a spouse, or with the help of family. If I wasn’t crazy to begin with, I’d go crazy soon enough.

I think that sometimes we get into situations without thinking them through. When we do that, you can bet we’re going to get in over our heads. Maybe that’s what happened here. I don’t know. Maybe she has the strength to handle this. I don’t know.

I do know that I teach women in transition, for the most part, how to turn their obstacles into opportunities (This is a biggee, don’t you think?), And from this work, I know that the solutions don’t rest in the minds of other people. You just have to find what works for you.

So maybe we could all reserve judgment and pray she finds her way.

All my best,
Jackie

Argh! Today’s news about the mom wanting an Oprah or other TV contract doesn’t help any with trying to refrain from judgment. This really is an insane story…And maybe she thinks she has found her way. Wow.

Jackie

Jackie, I had the same thoughts. On the other hand, I have to say, it’s looking more and more like she has some serious issues. I have to imagine social services are going to be involved in her life in some way; hopefully, if the situation is unhealthy for the kids, they will intervene.

And while I don’t personally feel the need to know, I hope it comes to light w/in the medical community just how this was allowed to happen. To me that’s the bigger story. Sick parents having babies they can’t necessarily care for is nothing new, and we have supports in place to deal with those situations. Unethical doctors helping it happen is another can of worms entirely.

Meagan,

Sad story on so many levels, no matter the details.

Jackie

Regless of how this happened, there are 14 small children that will need a mom, so I hope she gets the support she needs.

Thanks to the birth of ‘the octuplets’ I’ve seen about 6 shows on fertility treatments this week. Apparently it is very common for IVF embryos to split into twins, even triplets … much more commonly than the average rate.

In Canada, it is very unusual to implant more than 2 embryos and just in the last year women have had quads and quints from 2 just two embryos. Why they split so frequently isn’t know.

In the US it is common practice to put in 3 or 4 embryos to try and achieve 1 child, if they all implanted and split … Octuplets.

Many countries in Europe have a one embryo rule and considers North America to be ‘behind’ in our fertility practices.

Her family has repeatedly stated she only wanted one baby. Shouldn’t we just believe her?

Mommyknows–I didn’t realize it was common for IVF embryos to split after implantation, though I did wonder if that might be a factor here. This is just another example of us rushing to judgment without knowing the facts, isn’t it? Thanks so much for weighing in. I do agree that regardless of all the rest of it, she needs support, and I hope she gets it. And I also think that our fertility medicine standards may need another look if this is indeed a common issue (nothing wrong with multiples, but I can imagine that many women having 2 or 3 embryos implanted really only want at most 2 or 3 babies…not 6 or more).

I enjoyed reading your take on this. I posted about it today too.

I just hope that all of those children will be well-taken care of, now that they’re in the world!

I mean, of course, it’s THEIR house. (blushing)

I’m just keeping my online comments on this situation simple. Wow.

You nailed it Meagan, exactly what I was thinking. Isn’t this strange fertility procedures gone out of wack? And who is going to deal with these babies when they all hit teenage years? And will the parent’s have time for 1 on 1 bonding with their children when there are so many? 14 is a little excessive, don’t you think?

I got the same thing–so many people asking me to blog about this (not because of my big family experience, but my experience with Assisted Reproduction Technology–ART).

I feel much the same way you did, although I am a bit more enraged because the outcome of something like this is to start trying to place limits on how many embryos can be transfered (not implanted–in ART terminology, the embryos are transferred to the uterus and then we all hope like hell they implant. If IVF docs could get embryos to implant, IVF would be way more successful than it is. Oh, and embryos split usually prior to implantation, not after, and while it’s rare it does happen). Anyway, like any time people want to regulate medical care, I have to wonder. There are no reproductive endorcrinologists in the US these days that would agree to transplant more than three embryos, UNLESS the mother had failed several IVF cycles before, and the embryos looked shaky to begin with, and they were just hoping for some success (for instance, I had a friend transfer five embryos on her sixth IVF cycle. It was unsuccessful).

Anyway. Not sure I’m making a lot of sense here, but you get my drift.

Cecily, thanks for clarifying the terminology for me!

As a medical professional this is very sad to me on the medical side. This is not what fertility help is suppose to be like. It is getting out of hand. I too hope this family does not get the star status she is searching for. She stayed private at first but has now asked for 2 million to tell her story and a position as a parenting expert (not sure what qualifies her as such. There are 14 children invovled and I pray for their safety and well being. But I have to say SHAME ON YOU doc!!

What people are missing here is that having 14 kids is perfectly doable, in the natural order of things where by the time #14 is born, #s 1,2,3, 4, 5, and maybe a few more can provide some help in making the house run smoothly. 14 children under 7 is a full classroom of kids…in the preschool I run that would require three adults all the time just to get school-based needs met, nevermind diapers and feedings, which would take a few more adults. If this gal does not have the hyper-organizational and charismatic skills it will take to coordinate volunteers, then those children will be neglected. High multiples have developmental risks - I have a 13 year-old child with mental retardation, and it has been a Full Time job all her life getting her therapy needs met and medical bills paid. The romantic view of all those babies at once does not include that harsh reality. I hope we can trust Social Services to keep an eye on this family.