There has been a lot of discussion on the internet over the last few days over this NYT article about how it’s becoming more common to bring babies to work.
I’ve read opinions like this one by Nataly at Work It, Mom! and in the comments, and I am a little surprised.
I fully understand that bringing a baby to work is not for everyone. If you work in a high-intensity job or an office with a culture that just wouldn’t allow babies, for example. Or if you have an especially fussy or high-needs infant. Or if your work isn’t the sort that would allow you to sit in an office chair and nurse when you need to or jump up and change an emergency diaper.
What surprises me is not that people say “it’s not for me” but that they say “Why would anyone want to do that?”
I brought babies #3 and #4 with me to an office job for months. Now, I was lucky in that my job–in the office at a freestanding birth center–was about as family-friendly as they come. William was an extremely easy baby and happily nursed and bounced away his four-hour workdays, and by the time Owen (a much louder, crankier baby) was coming to work with me I was on a very part-time schedule. It did make my job a little tougher, but no tougher than it is to work from home except that when the phone rang I really had to answer it regardless of what sounds or substances were coming out of the baby.
A lot of things can cause distraction in an office environment. Facebook. Loud employees or those who wear stinky perfume or those who just drop by your desk constantly to chatter over this and that. A baby doesn’t necessarily create more distraction than distracting co-workers, constantly ringing cell phones and being surrounded by activity. And while I get that business is business, not all companies are created equal. Many are casual, low-key places with little drop-in business. Some have clientele that likely wouldn’t be bothered–and might even be charmed–by the sight of a baby at a desk. Not all working moms have a visible job that requires them to interact directly with clients or the public. Many have their own offices with room for a crib and doors that close. So what’s the big deal?
I guess I don’t see mixing babies and business to be such a crazy blend. The article states that most of the businesses interviewed allow people to bring babies to work until about 6-8 months. A perfect age to phase it out, since that’s when a curious crawler can start wreaking havoc on office equipment and Mom’s morale.
Whether they’re working at home, helping to run the family business, bringing in the harvest or keeping the home fires burning, women have been combining working and mothering for many centuries. The idea that people should be 100% tuned in and attentive to children they’re caring for all the time–i.e. caregiving as a profession rather than a relationship–is a relatively new one, and many psychologists and child-development experts say, a rather unhealthy one.
I happen to believe that babies learn from and thrive on seeing their mothers and other adults at work (whether their work is graphic design or crunching numbers or writing or brokering sales or making a comfortable home), rather than the adult caregiver being completely focused on the baby all the time. No matter how you feel about individual, focused attention from caregiver to child, it’s unrealistic to expect that it’ll be that way all the time no matter what kind of child-care situation you have (sooner or later, we all have stuff we have to get done, even with babies around). And I think a lot of moms thrive when they’re able to keep working without having to give up precious hours with their very small babies or worry about figuring out daycare arrangements when their baby is just weeks old and they’re still getting to know her.
It may not be for everyone, but I’m glad it’s starting to be available to more people.
You must have had some easy babies, because I can guarantee you that nobody would have wanted to hear my colicky babies crying all day. My younger son cried from 4 a.m. til 10 a.m. every morning and then 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. every night for three months. I would have loved to have a quiet, baby-free office to go to so I could get a break!
While I had a fairly visible job (Leasing Manager at an apartment community), I did have a few Saturdays that I had to go in for some management tasks, and so long as I could stay out of sight, bringing my son in as a 3-6 month old worked out surprisingly well.
Though I can’t imagine bringing in my daughter when she was the same age - she was one generally pissed off baby!
Heh, Jen, well I did admit that it may not be as easy if you have a fussy baby. I do remember how freeing it felt the first couple of times I left the kids with a sitter while I went to work–I was sitting there at my desk thinking “This is ALL I have to do? Just WORK?” LOL.
Rebecca, I had one of those Johnny Jump-Ups that hang from a door frame, and Will would just bounce and bounce in it. He was so easy though; I know I was lucky there. The only reason it worked with Owen, aka “the screamer”, is that I worked on a day when nobody else was in the office.
Hey Megan,
When I owned a home-based body care manufacturing business (Montana Mercantile)one of my employees brought her pre-walking infant. Lauren had the smoothest knees of any baby since she was crawling around on a kitchen floor covered in cocoa butter and coconut oil! It became more challenging as she got older, but we made it work.
Great post!
Amy
I am lucky enough to be working from home, but when customers call they sometimes hear a temper tantrum or the wonder pets in the backround but 1. They don’t know I’m at home necessarily-they assume I have the kids at the shop- and 99% of the time people think it’s great 2. We are a baby item company- why wouldnt we have kids around? I am expecting my 3rd and I already know I’m taking that baby to a tradeshow when (s)he is 3 months old. That baby gets to be our live model-the better we can sell!
Don’t knock it til you try it! It may be better than you imagine!
Great balanced summary of the question. I appreciate your calm thoughts on the matter!
I always thought it was the only way to go. When I was working, it was heart-wrenching to leave my baby at home. I much preferred the job that didn’t mind if I brought her along with me. Now that I am at home taking care of the children, I agree with you that the baby (and older children) need to see you work, and be given work to do themselves when they are old enough.
Personally I believe that the workplace isn’t meant for children. I agree that each case is individual depending on where you work but the truth is that either way you are not giving something your 100%. The workplace is meant just for that, work. By bringing a child you are either neglecting your work at hand, or the child or most likely you are performing poorly in both. I’d be curious to see what type of effect bringing children has in the fundamental development stages.
Personally I know very few people who give 100% all day, all the time, in their office jobs. Most people I’ve ever worked with spend a certain amount of time chatting, tending to personal matters, or just plain wasting time. Do you really know anyone who devotes a straight, solid 8+ hours per day to their job? Actually, that’s what I like about working for myself–I get more done in an hour or two of focused work than some people I’ve worked with have gotten done in an entire day.
But I’ll admit that for some jobs there’s no way you could give an adequate performance if your attention was divided. I am a little puzzled by the comment about developmental stages, though. Is parenting really about “performance”–especially for a young baby, which is what I’m talking about (and the article was talking about?) They eat, they poop, they sleep, they need to be held and talked to. As long as you tend to those needs, what is there to mess up?
Again, I’m talking about easy or average-needy young babies. Not toddlers or super high-needs infants.
I’m just scratching my head trying to figure out how you could harm a child’s development by being on the phone or computer or dealing with clients for a chunk of the day. Let’s face it–that is the reality of most people’s lives anyway. Are at-home moms supposed to spend 100% of their time “performing” as mothers?
I would have loved to bring my baby to work with me. I only worked part time for 6 months of my first born’s life but he would have been a dream boat at work. He loves to be held, I could have worn him in a wrap and nursing would have likely lasted longer.
Nell
When my second child was born I remember wishing I could have returned to work with him in a sling. I worked four or five hour shifts at night in a large company bookstore. So I know it could never have happened, but it would have been rather easy to just adjust him in the sling to eat. I would only have to dissapear for a few moments to change him. He loved the sling. It would have been awesome for the first 6-8 months and I could have been earning much needed money. My boy was extremely fussy and wouldn’t let anyone else hold him for more than a few moments. Daycare wouldn’t have been an option, even if I had wasnted it to be. But at night when he was normally sleeping anyway, carrying him around in a sling would have been perfect!