My mouth is still hanging open after reading this Associated Press article. According to the article, this organization is launching a letter-writing campaign asking toy manufacturers not to market directly to children (instead, they ask that the ads be directed at the parents) this holiday season.

Now, full disclosure: I do think children are marketed to too much. Childhood has become more and more consumerist, and the number of ads kids are exposed to daily, monthly, yearly, is pretty shocking. I don’t love the idea of kids learning how to become good little materalists from infancy. That’s why we limit commercial TV-watching in our house and, more importantly (since kids will eventually grow up and have to deal with the bombardment of ads), talk about commercials: how they can mislead you, how they can manipulate, how that cool toy or gadget really won’t make you happier, cooler or more popular.

What I can’t get behind is this sentiment: ““It’s cruel for companies to dangle irresistible ads for toys and electronics in front of children when parents everywhere are worried about their financial future and paying for necessities,” said CCFC’s Director Dr. Susan Linn. “A barrage of holiday marketing will create unrealistic expectations in children too young to understand the economic crises and will make parenting in these uncertain times even more difficult.”

Seriously? cruel? Have these children never been disappointed before? Have they never woken on Christmas morning to find that a coveted toy did not make it under the tree? Previously, when times were flush and money was falling out of home equity lines like so much December snow, did these children really receive every hot toy they wished for? If so, then yeah…I guess these parents may have a problem on their hands. One that it’s, frankly, their responsibility to fix.

My kids have been “barraged” by toy advertisements since they were wee babes. Often they’ve wanted, and asked for, dozens of toys they’ve learned about via “irresistable” ads. And since they generally they get three or four gifts each, plus stocking stuffers, there is almost always something missing off of their “dream” list.

Have they ever been disappointed by a certain item not showing up under the tree? Probably. It’s called “life”.

Am I sometimes disappointed that I can’t have a shiny new Mercury Milan to replace my aging Dodge Caravan after I see the commercial featuring that cool-looking woman zipping around in one? Absolutely. It’s not like disappointment or desire are unique to childhood. But we have an important opportunity while our kids are young not to give in to all those whims, not to try to bubble-wrap them to protect against all possible disappointment. Otherwise, we’re going to wind up with a bunch of adults who really can’t manage their desires, who can’t tolerate disappointment. That’s far scarier to me than the possibility that my son might feel a momentary pang when he doesn’t get this year’s “hot” toy.

Ads aren’t going anywhere, and we’d do our kids a service if we helped them get used to NOT having everything they want from childhood on. Maybe that’s harder for parents who’ve gotten used to having lots of extra money (or credit) to blow during the holidays. I do feel badly for the predicament some families are finding themselves in, but I don’t think changing marketing habits for a single season is the answer. After all, ads directed toward children wouldn’t work if PARENTS didn’t open their wallets and buy. We have helped create this monster, and we share the responsibility of subduing it a bit.

Maybe this year, parents could take a more proactive approach; talking about commercials with their kids and explaining that this year, the budget may not stretch as far as it used to. (Yes, this is something even an eight-year-old can understand, though they may not be thrilled about it). They could also work on adding traditions that will make the holidays special without focusing quite as much on gifts. Heck, they could even turn off the TV for a month and keep their kids out of stores as much as possible.

As for the letter-writing campaign, I think this quote from the AP article summed it up best: “”Believe me, there are families with much bigger issues on their plates right now then worrying about whether their child will be unhappy because they did not get a particular toy,” Gottlieb wrote in his “Out of the Toy Box” blog. “Delivering disappointment goes with the job of parenting.”

A little perspective is always nice to see.

Are you doing things differently this holiday? How are you helping your kids prepare for/ handle disappointment, if so? And how do you deal with marketing to kids in your own home?