I wrote this column a couple years ago, but since the topic is always relevant, I thought I’d dust it off for this year. Enjoy!
Since having kids I’ve noticed a few major differences between the Halloween of today and the Halloween I remember.
But one of the things that most pains my Halloween-loving heart is the opposition some older trick-or-treaters face. Maybe I’m just remembering the Halloweens of my childhood through pumpkin-colored lenses, but it seemed like there was more tolerance for trick-or-treaters of all ages when I was a kid.
It’s true, some older kids don’t really get into the spirit of Halloween—instead of donning costumes, some teenagers simply wear a smirk, a bag, and a sense of entitlement.
But I don’t really get the outright hostility that some adults have toward older kids who just want to dress up and have some fun. “They’re too old for that!” cry the naysayers. Too old for what? Dressing outrageously, wandering around town at night, and eating junk food? Isn’t that what being a teenager is all about?
My teenaged nephew still gets excited about trick-or-treating. His costumes are elaborate and well-thought-out. And his gratitude for your hard-earned candy is far more heartfelt than my two-year-old’s. But this year, many of his friend’s parents are putting the nix on the treats and the tricks, so he’ll either have to find a troupe of smaller children to accompany him, or go out alone, into a world where many keepers of the candy will judge him not on the volume of his Halloween spirit, but the size of his shoes.
I feel for the teenaged would-be trick-or-treaters. By this point, most of them have given up on the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and Halloween is one of the last vestiges of childhood magic they’ve got left.
And it’s not like we grown-ups can claim we don’t long for Halloween fun, too. Adults still dress up, but we eat too much junk food and act like children at cocktail parties instead of going from door to door. We don’t want our teenaged kids throwing cocktail parties, so why not let—or even encourage—them to trick-or-treat?
Nobody wants to dole out candy to a sullen teen who looks like he couldn’t be bothered to dress up. I get it. But let’s just consider for a moment that the kid who shows up on your door with no costume might just be longing for a bit of that Halloween magic. Maybe he can’t quite bring himself to wear a costume in front of his friends. Maybe he’s just a brat. I don’t really care, frankly. I mean, the kids are asking me for a piece of candy, not a piece of my liver. What’s the big deal?
I’m hereby issuing an invitation: my house will be an equal-opportunity candy distributor this Halloween. If you show up at my door, you will get a treat, whether you’re two or twenty-two. Just a warning, though: no matter how old (or young) you are, I expect you to be nice to me.
Otherwise, I’ve got a special stash of pennies and unwrapped Mary Janes, just for you.
This made me a little misty. I totally agree. People are irritated by people taking babies out trick or treating, anyone over the age of 12, so what’s the acceptable age? 4-11? That’s a drag.
In fact, I’m gonna link to this.
Sarah, right on! I just don’t see what the big deal is…who cares? It’s not worth getting irritated over. Everybody is just trying to have fun in their own way, and as long as they don’t egg my house, I’m all for it.
I give them candy, but I admit I do ask them to say, “Trick or Treat.” I figure, if you’re not too old to go trick-or-treating, then you’re not too old to *say* “Trick or Treat.”
I am motivated by that unfair but widespread sentiment that others must be denied what was denied to me. Since my dad banned us from trick-or-treating once we graduated from 6th grade, I plan to end my own kids’ fun at that tender age.
But honestly, I’m sure if the older kids are wearing costumes, they’re not going to get any guff. How would people even know how old they are? I think people are rightfully irritated by breaches of the tacit Halloween agreement: we will answer our door 900 times and distribute candy to our neighbors’ children, who will provide us with the pleasure of their adorableness. When the trick-or-treaters are neither neighbors nor adorable, the whole treaty is strained.
I have no problem with that, Katrina! I have often demanded a little extra from my older T-O-T-ers, but I’m still nice and I still give them the candy.
Carrie, it’s funny, I’ve never thought of Halloween as having any tacit agreement besides I’ll stand at my door with Candy, smile, and say Happy Halloween, and you kids don’t deface my property. LOL. I do see what you’re saying, but I have many kids pass by my door each year who aren’t neighbors–in fact I have no idea who they are–and I’m not bothered by giving them candy. And yes, I’ve heard enough adults complain about costumed teenagers to know it’s not exactly a welcoming environment out there for them.
Of course, it irritates me when anyone is rude or sullen, but my point is just that I think we’ve started to take this holiday a little too seriously when we start talking, as I’ve seen elsewhere, about turning away mothers holding dressed-up babies because they’re trying to “scam” free candy (as if all that effort would be worth a couple bucks’ worth of candy!) or roll our eyes at teenagers who are out trying to have some good clean fun. What difference does it make to me? Either way I’m going to be buying my $8 or whatever worth of candy and handing it out. As long as people are reasonably polite, I don’t care who I give it to.
I am a little behind on this (just catching up on my blogs) and I agree that who cares how old you are. However I do not have tolerance for “smart-axx” teens who come to the door unappreciative of “the halloween spirit”. I asked a couple of teens who came to the door without costumes and just w/pillow cases. The one said he was “dressed as a retard”. I was a little shocked and said “well that’s inappropriate”. And I then asked the other kid (who looked uncomfortable at this point) what his costume was and the other kid responded for him - “he’s a dummy.” They got candy from me but more out of fear they would come back and egg my house!