When I was a little kid, my parents had a closed-door policy about their bedroom. Kids going in there, unless in an extreme emergency, was Just Not Done. But my parents split up when I was young, and after that the bedroom policy became much more open-door. Mom’s bed was where you hung out if you had a nightmare or were home sick from school or just wanted to watch something different on TV from what was going on downstairs. My dad (and eventually, stepmother’s) room became the family hangout; where we watched Married…With Children and Spencer for Hire. Sure, if the door was shut you knocked (or when as a teenager you started figuring out what that meant, you went nowhere near that part of the house) but for the most part, their bedroom had an open-door policy.

I’ve brought that open-bedroom-door policy into our family life, much to the chagrin of my husband, whose parents had the “No Kids Allowed” approach to their bedroom. At first, it was pure practicality. Our kids all slept in our bed as babies, and for a long time we lived in small apartments and often had only one TV, which resided in our room. But even as our kids have moved into their own beds and we’ve acquired bigger homes and more TVs, the ‘just come on IN” approach to Mom and Dad’s room has stuck.

And I think I’ve about had enough. I’m pretty relaxed when it comes to clutter and chaos, but something about kids jumping around in and messing up my bedroom makes me over-the-top crazy. I can’t stand it when my bed gets unmade, or when one of the kids gives a bounce on my bed that slides it away from the wall. I mean, it upsets me so much that I actually feel my blood pressure tick up a few notches while my face goes hot and my fists clench. Maybe, in a house full of kids and mess and noise, I just need one space that I can count on to be quiet and neat? Maybe it’s time to lay down the law as far as the ol’ bedroom is concerned?

I’m guilty of putting the little kids in my room to watch a TV show while I work because it’s easy, it’s close to my office and the kitchen, where I spend a big part of my day, and, well, I know how to work the remote control up here. (the downstairs TV is still kind of a mystery to me). But I think it might be time to start the process of breaking the mom-and-dad’s-room habit.

Or maybe there’s a way to keep an open-door policy while still keeping the bedroom neat, clean, and chaos-free. Maybe the kids could have limited access to our room when it works for us, without them feeling like it’s their playland in there. Anyone been able to pull that off, or enforced a “parents’ room off-limits” rule after years of an open door?