Here’s my latest column, in which I address the Jolie=baby-collecting maniac and kids=drudgery issues:

recently read an article on ABCNEWS.com claiming that Angelina Jolie, who by all visual evidence will soon be celebrating the birth of her fifth child (second biological), is a “compulsive mother,” driven to parenthood as a way to self-medicate and escape her “inner emptiness.”

“Mother Earth” types like Jolie and Mia Farrow (who has 14 children, some of whom are adopted), the story claimed, are often just hiding deep depression and feelings of emptiness behind domesticity and child-rearing. The implication? Having kids isn’t “real life,” it’s just a way to escape from it for a while.

After puzzling over that logic for a while, I was treated to yet another anti-breeding viewpoint: an article in Reason Magazine, by “voluntarily child-free” writer Ronald Bailey, suggests that the reason people no longer tend to have lots of kids (or in many cases, any kids at all) is that child-rearing is a grisly chore, and people don’t like children.

The article quotes psychologist and “happiness researcher” Daniel Gilbert, whose research shows that people “derive more satisfaction from eating, exercising, shopping, napping or watching television than taking care of their kids,” and that taking care of children is seen to be only marginally more pleasant than doing housework.

Not only are most parents miserable, asserts the article, but we lie about it, too: “Gilbert suggests that people claim their kids are their chief source of happiness largely because it’s what they are expected to say.”

I have no doubt that there are parents who reflexively rank parenthood as their No. 1 joy in life because they think they’re supposed to. On the other hand, there’s a big difference between finding happiness in parenting and finding happiness in every minute of every day spent caring for kids. Parenthood can be intense and exhausting, hilarious and tedious, all in the same day; and 1-year-olds don’t always make the best conversationalists. But the satisfaction of parenthood isn’t something you can take apart, rating each little task to come up with an average “happiness score.” Like all relationships, raising kids is too complex for that.

So why do we question the motives surrounding the decision to have children (or not) with so much more skepticism than we do other decisions? If a celebrity had a large circle of friends, no armchair psychologist would bother to question whether she was trying to “fill a void” with companionship. It would instead be accepted that creating relationships with other human beings is a normal, natural and human desire. On the other hand, I’m getting the feeling that these people wouldn’t believe me if I told them I genuinely enjoy my children … most of the time.

Sure, some days I might rate taking a nap or watching a favorite TV show higher on the satisfaction-o-meter than changing a diaper or even pushing a swing (for the 18 zillionth time). But at some point, a life of nothing but “satisfying activities” could get pretty boring. I believe that most people, whether they have or want kids or not, are looking for something more substantial.

The point of having children isn’t just to make yourself happy, though our “me” culture certainly tries to tell us so. Fulfillment comes from adding value to the world we live in and learning about giving, self-sacrifice and putting another person’s needs above our own. There are lots of ways to give back to the world, and I don’t mind at all if somebody chooses not to have kids. But please don’t find me naïve if I assert that having children has added much more to my life than it’s taken away.

Finding fulfillment as a mom - even a mom of many - doesn’t mean I’m compulsive, avoiding life, trying to re-define myself, seeking attention, mentally ill or one-dimensional. It simply means I love my kids, even on the days I don’t like all the work that comes along with them, and I find that having them in my life is rewarding.

A lot more rewarding than a lifetime full of nothing but naps and television, anyway.