More freelancing tips from the Diapers to Deadlines archives…

So you’ve read The Renegade Writer–or are just sick of waiting for your SASEs to show back up in the mail–and have decided to give e-mail submissions a shot? Good for you! Make no mistake, e-mail can be a convenient and quick way to pitch ideas and essays, hammer out assignment details or introduce yourself to an editor. But sometimes, the ease and informal feel of e-mail can lead to some less-than-professional behavior. Though you can’t make an editor love your ideas, the least you can do is make sure he won’t be able to find fault with your presentation. So, in keeping with April’s Best Foot Forward theme, we’ve decided to give a few tips for making a good impression on any editor’s inbox:

Be Adequately Formal:

Miss Manners I’m not. You should see some of the e-mail exchanges between Toni and I–sometimes consisting of nothing more than a one-word reply, uncapitalized, with no punctuation. But Toni and I are friends, and our relationship has moved past proper and is now decidedly colloquial.

Contrast that to the pitches I get every so often from PR representatives and expert sources that contain no greeting, no capitalization, and no closing. If those pitches raise the eyebrows of even a Casual Cathy like myself, I can only imagine what a similarly-laid-back query might do to the eyebrows of an editor who values propriety–not to mention punctuation.

You don’t have to copy a business letter’s style–in fact, a return-address block on an e-mail might look a little strange–but at a minimum, any e-mail contacts with someone you’re not on a familiar basis with yet should contain a greeting; proper capitalization, punctuation, and grammar; and a closing. Whenever I can reasonably ascertain an editor’s gender, I use the rather formal "Dear Ms (or Mr.) Smith". I know that some, to be on the completely safe side, prefer to write "Dear John Smith", but to me, that looks stilted and awkward: if I absolutely can’t find out whether Terry, Chris or Pat are male or female, I just go with Dear Firstname (PS: One way to figure out an editor’s gender is by asking writer acquaintances for a tip. For closings, "Best" seems to be a standard in magazine journalism; but "best wishes," "sincerely", or "regards" will do as well. Save XOXO (hugs and kisses), TTFN (ta-ta for now), and CYA (See ya) for your grandmother or best friend.

And while we’re on the topic of cutesy acronyms, please keep in mind that not everyone in the world knows what KWIM, BRB, or ROFLMAOPIMP stand for. Leave them out of work-related correspondence unless you know they’ll go over well. Same goes for smileys–yes, even if your e-mail program lets you do fun variations like the Throwing Up Smiley or Drinking Beer Smiley. Moving on…

Address Success:

Okay, so you really love Scooby Doo. I get it. But an e-mail address like velmalovesshaggy29304@hotmail.com isn’t going to "wow" your editors. It looks unprofessional, and let’s face it–it probably says more about you than they need to know. If you have your own URL, some variation on yourname@yourname.com is great. As for whether free mail hosts are acceptable, I think they’re OK as long as the address looks professional: I’ve had a Yahoo account for years, and have found it more reliable than the various @meaganfrancis.com accounts I’ve had through hosting companies, so I’ve stuck with it. But I’m meaganfrancis@yahoo.com, not ilovemycutiepatootie@yahoo.com. See the difference?

Signing Off:

It’s a great idea to create a signature line containing your contact info (phone number, e-mail address, mailing address, and website URL if you have one–more on that later this month) so that if an editor wants to give you a quick call to discuss an idea or wants to pop a contract in the mail, he or she won’t have to go digging around to find your contact info. The easier you can make an editor’s job, the better your relationship will be.

Don’t Abuse It.

Keep in mind that in many offices, opening unsolicited attachments is strictly verboten. Don’t send ‘em unless you have a working relationship with the editor, and even then, you may want to ask him or her first if attachments are OK. And if you get a request from an editor to send future pitches via snail mail, don’t take it personally–a lot of editors still prefer to work with hard copies. You can decide for yourself whether you want to continue to pursue the editor, but whatever you do, don’t continue to flood his or her inbox with unwelcome e-mailed pitches after being specifically asked not to. There’s a line between being assertive and ambitious–and just plain annoying.

One last thing–don’t expect anyone to drop everything they’re doing to reply to your message. Yes, the lightning-fast speed at which you can carry out conversations via e-mail might make you impatient with those editors who take their time responding. But remember–just because somebody theoretically could answer an e-mail within thirty seconds doesn’t mean they’re obligated to. Wait a while–I usually give it anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, depending on my relationship with the editor–before following up on an unanswered e-mail, and don’t act put out if your e-mail gets missed. Spam folders, itchy delete fingers and slammed inboxes can make the job of keeping up with e-mail difficult, and you’ll make a much better impression with a light, casual check-in than an obnoxious "Didja get my e-mail? Huh? Huh? Didja?"

Using e-mail has made my writing career 100 times easier–and it can do the same for you. Just use common sense and follow the guidelines above and you’ll make a great electronic impression.

Do you have any funny–or embarrassing–stories of e-mail gaffes? Share ‘em here!

I wrote about our struggle with video game overkill and parental distraction back in February. And, while the seemingly never-ending dreary weather (Seriously? A blizzard on March 27, what-was-that-all-about, God?) made me, on some days, want to turn on the X-Box, climb under the covers and let the kids fend for themselves until it’s all over, I’m pleased to report we’ve made some progress. Here are a few things we’re doing differently ’round these parts:

1) Video games/computer games are only allowed on weekends or over school holidays, period. When school’s out for the summer it’ll go back to weekends only. Generally we are pretty busy one day each weekend, so the video games only really get used on the other day. This is working out great! Once the kids adjusted to the fact that they just can’t turn on the computer or games during the week, they just…stopped asking. No arguing or constant monitoring like there was when I tried imposing daily limits, and I’m much less resentful of the time they spend playing on the weekends because I know it won’t last all week. I decided to hold off on setting TV limits until I saw how they would react to having no video games, and interestingly, they didn’t just swap out one form of electronic entertainment for the other. They have a couple of shows they like to watch but for the most part they’ve been spending their time playing, talking, and drawing. Score one for mom!

2) We’ve implemented weekly date nights with the older kids. It wasn’t until I took Isaac out for pizza that I realized how long it had been since I’d actually sat down and had a conversation with him with zero interruptions or distractions from his siblings, work, or other goings-on. Date night doesn’t have to be anything fancy–sometimes I just take a kid grocery shopping with me; if there’s a little wiggle room in the budget we might go grab a bite to eat. More important is just the intention to give each parent some one-on-one time with each child separately. It’s amazing the stuff they’ll talk about when you get them alone, and how eager they are for a little undivided attention.

3) As for work-life balance, I had promised myself I was going to start shutting the computer off at 4 PM every day and spending the rest of the evening with the family, without fail. At that? I have failed miserably. I’ve had a bunch of deadlines, one after the other, and have stumbled across some interesting blogs and in general have just found myself spending way too much time on the internet, but I’m telling myself that part of it is that I’m feeling listless because of the crappy weather. Once it gets nicer out again, I plan on spending most of my time outside.

Actually, I’m looking out my window now and…it actually looks kind of sunny out there. I think it’s about time I put this away, got out the jackets and hats, and headed to the park. Later.

You can tell from two rooms away, just by its sound, whether your two-year-old’s sneeze will require emergency attention from a tissue.

Has parenting become an industry into itself? Author Pamela Paul says yes. For the most part, I agree, but then I’ve been saying this stuff for a while. I will say that while I find most of the luxe baby products nothing short of silly, I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with investing in a high-end stroller if you can afford it and it makes getting around town easier and more pleasant (in fact, if it encouraged people to walk instead of drive to the store, to school, etc, I’d even recommend it). But bottom line? Our kids really, really don’t need most of the stuff we associate with good parenting. As I said in this Family.com story, “Babies are easygoing little people, and don’t pay much attention to the commercials and magazine ads that tell you, the parents, that they need a bunch of gadgets to be happy. A baby’s basic needs are to be warm, dry, and fed.”

Now I have to go dig out my $30 stroller. The sun is out, and I want to go for a walk–and think about what I’ll do with the $770 I saved.

Annie said “I’d love to hear more about marketing your work”, so I dragged up another oldie but goodie from the “Diapers to Deadlines” archives.

When non-writers find out that I write for consumer magazines, I often get a response that sounds something like this: "How do you decide which magazines to send which ideas to? They all look the same to me."

Ah, but they really aren’t.

Yes, even I often joke with my sister that all a successful writer has to do is come up with new ways to "walk off the weight". But going beyond a casual look, a reader who’s paying attention can see that style and tone ranges from magazine to magazine or website to website, even if the subject matter is similar and the designs and layouts look almost exactly the same. Are the articles written to "you" or do they take a more formal third-person approach? Or a combination? Are they friendly and casual in tone or authoritative and heavy on "expert" advice? How long are the articles? How many sidebars does each one have? How photo-driven are the stories? Are there regular departments that appear consistently? Are they written by freelancers, staffers, or regular contributors? Does the magazine or website run first-person essays? Two magazines can sit side-by-side on a newsstand, have similar cover lines, similar-looking cover art, and the answers to the above questions could be very different.

That’s why market research is important. Researching a market–whether it’s a magazine, newspaper, web publication, literary journal, or publishing house–to find out what sort of writing they publish and when, is smart business. Not only will you hit the mark more often when you really understand the publication you’re submitting your work or pitching ideas to, but on those times that you don’t make a sale, you’ll at least make a positive impression upon an editor–that even if this idea doesn’t work out, (because: it’s in the works, it’s already been done, they aren’t running articles by writers whose first name begins with "A" that month…) you’ve done your homework, and you understand the publication. Impressing the editor makes it more likely that you’ll get one of those "this doesn’t work for me, but I’d love to hear more from you" responses.

If you’ve read a beginner’s book on freelancing, no doubt you’ve been advised to send away for writer’s guidelines. I have noticed that many guidelines say something along the lines of "reading the magazine is the best way to find out what sorts of things we publish". It’s true. Writer’s guidelines are helpful, but they usually won’t tell you everything you need to know–which editor is in charge of this section and that one? How many words does the back-page essay run? Is there a back-page essay–or any essays at all? How cutting-edge, timely, or "evergreen" (meaning, one of those topics that never really stops being relevant) are the articles?

Similarly, book publishers all have a different feel when it comes to the titles they publish. Some publishers have lots of celebrity titles. Some publish really art-driven books that are packaged in a certain way. Some publish narrative nonfiction, or only serious fiction, or only genre fiction. You’ll get the best feel for which houses are appropriate for your project if you see what else they’re publishing first.

For those working on book projects, getting an up-close-and-personal feel for what different publishers are putting out might mean many trips to the library or bookstore, seeing which other books are out there and who’s publishing them. Magazine and newspaper writers can also utilize the library: many will allow you to check out back issues of magazines and newspapers. Sites like www.mags4cheap.com offer dirt-cheap subscriptions. Or, ask freelancer friends to participate in a magazine or newspaper swap–just tear out the departments you’re interested in and the masthead to avoid paying shipping on page after page of advertising!

So how much reading should you plan to do? All writers have different approaches when it comes to market research. For example, traditionalists may say that magazine freelancers should study a minimum of six months to a year’s worth of back issues before they pitch–the idea being that they’re less likely to repeat an idea that’s been covered recently that way. But in my experience, since magazines assign so far in advance (up to a year; sometimes more), and you can have no way of knowing what’s in the works now, reading a year–or even three year’s–worth of issues is really no insurance against coming up with the same idea somebody else is already working on. Besides, my memory isn’t good enough to retain an entire year’s worth of articles!

I find that my energy is better spent really focusing in on two or three recent issues, looking carefully at these things:

*Tone. Is the language fun, funky, or formal? Are the articles unfailingly upbeat, do they always contain solutions, do they ever end on a negative note? Do the writers use "you" or "I" in the articles? How expert-heavy is the advice given?

*Who’s writing the articles. Check the masthead to find out if editors and other staffers, contributing editors, or freelancers are writing the articles in each section. If a section seems to always be written by an in-house person, it might mean it’s not open to freelancers.

*Article Length. A magazine that doesn’t ever run articles over 1500 words long isn’t going to be interested in my proposal to cover the latest health craze in 4000 words, even if it’s a REALLY good idea. But if I can figure out a way to approach the topic in 1500 words, I might be able to re-slant the idea for another publication later.

*Departments. Are there regular departments, and are they written by freelancers? Do they follow a specific pattern or formula each issue?

*Sidebars and other visual elements. If a publication tends to have very visually-driven articles or routinely uses charts, graphs, sidebars and other breakouts, suggesting them in the pitch might help the editor visualize the way my idea would look on the page.

Once you’ve done the research, what you choose to do with the information is up to you. Some writers pick and choose which markets will fit their ideas, exactly the way they want to write them. Some writers will package an idea differently in order to appeal to different markets. It’s up to you–whichever approach best fits in with your goals can work, as long as you go in armed with enough information to choose.

this post is adapted from an entry I wrote for the on-hiatus website From Diapers to Deadlines, which Toni and I collaborated on a while back. The site is down for now, but we had a ton of great content in the archives, and I thought some of my readers who are interested in freelancing might enjoy reading it…so I’ll be re-posting selected entries. If you have a burning question about writing or balancing freelance or at-home work and motherhood, drop me a line–I’ll respond here, or maybe dig up an old post that covered the issue in-depth.

Now, on to the post…

How many times have you done one of the following?

Put off getting childcare you desperately need to work because you can’t justify the cost. No, you’ll just find a way to write that 2,000-word article (or whatever your freelance job requires you to produce) after everyone’s gone to bed, when your eyelids are hovering at half-mast

Found yourself interrupting your work to tend to requests for snacks or break up a squabble–when your spouse is also in the house, watching TV or reading the newspaper

Apologized to your spouse for asking him or her to watch the kids while you make a deadline

I’d like to tell you something I learned the hard way: nobody is going to take your work seriously until you take it seriously yourself. Not your husband or wife or partner, not your kids, not your mother, and certainly not the editor or client you’re trying to impress.

It can be really difficult to do this, whether we’re just starting out or have been established for years. When we aren’t widely published or making a lot of money freelancing, it’s hard to justify the time we spend working on it. Sometimes, even when we are well-established, it can feel like we’re letting somebody down if we’re taking time away from family needs to work–even when we’re squeezing writing into the hours nobody else wants from us (usually sometime after midnight). Hiring child care or household help can seem like a luxury we neither need nor deserve. Asking the spouse to help out in the off-hours just seems unfair. After all, doesn’t he (or she) deserve a break, too?

But here’s the thing–if you’re serious about having a freelance career, it’s illogical to try to cram work in after every other commitment in your life. It simply won’t fit. There has to be an investment made in your role as a freelancer, whether it’s financial, or time, or even emotional–the mindset that you deserve to have it and that it’s valuable not just to you but the whole family. Think of it this way: if you were working outside of the home, it’s not as though you’d look at childcare, or a work wardrobe, or a business-related trip as an expense you couldn’t justify. And I’ve never heard of a single mother expecting her husband to tote a toddler to the office with him.

I’m not arguing that every writer or web designer or (fill in the blank) needs or has to have child care when they’re just getting started. I didn’t for a while, for a variety of reasons. Often, money is so tight that the budget simply won’t allow for child care expenses, no matter how badly you want a sitter. In those cases, you have to improvise for a while. Some people make a commitment to keeping their children at home while they work, and I respect and admire that (and have been that person until quite recently). But if they’re going to gain momentum–without completely losing their minds and burning out after a few months–there’s still going to have to be compromises made in some other area. It’s not about child care, specifically–what you really need is a mindset that your work gets priority–not necessarily before family or kids, but just…somewhere in the top ten. If it’s shoved to the bottom of the list somewhere after vacuuming the drapes, it’s not going to get very far. If that means you have to get somebody else to vacuum the drapes, so be it. If you don’t want to use a sitter, then your partner or spouse might have to take over for you in the evenings and on weekends so you can work. Don’t apologize for it. Your career is not unimportant, and it’s not selfish. Even if you aren’t making money yet, the time you’re putting in now is building a solid foundation for income later. That’s what owning your own small business–and really, being a freelancer is running a small business–is all about. You put in a lot of hours at the beginning for a payoff down the road.

It’s not always easy to convince the people in our lives that what we’re doing is important and valuable and that there will be a return on investment later. That’s why you have to convince yourself first. If you aren’t certain that you deserve or need the family to invest in your career, fake it until you make it. Don’t apologize for your work. Don’t grovel or beg for scraps of time. Figure out what you absolutely need and arrange to make it happen. Expect some resistance, but don’t give in. Just re-state what you need over and over until it sinks in.

Take yourself seriously. Start right now. What is one thing you can do to invest in yourself and your work? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

my latest column…

After each of my kids was born, I went through a stage of mental fuzziness. Phone numbers that had been locked away in my brain for years suddenly seemed just out of reach, names evaporated from the tip of my tongue, and every day my car keys, which I could swear I had set down on in the dining room, seemed to get sucked into a magical vortex and spewed back out someplace else, like the foot of my bed, or the refrigerator.

And I shudder to remember the times - plural - that I wore mismatched socks or forgot to take off my pajama pants before I left the house.

“Yep, you’ve got mom brain,” women around me would remark when I trailed off in the middle of a sentence.

Now, scientists have finally confirmed what we moms knew all along: “Momnesia” isn’t just something dreamed up by a bunch of addled and sleep-deprived new moms … it’s real.

Moms may go hazy on the details after giving birth, but experts agree that it may serve an important biological function: keeping our children safe. An article in USA Today by Liz Szabo surmised that our brains may just need to refocus themselves in order to ensure an infant’s survival. The parts of your brain that aren’t focused in on keeping your baby alive, are “sort of taken offline,” said neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, author of “The Female Brain,” in the article.

“Taken offline.” I like that metaphor. It sounds businesslike and organized, something I definitely did not feel when I forgot to file important paperwork, pay the cable bill or check my voicemail for days at a time.

But fear not, new moms: momnesia doesn’t make you stupid. Instead, the article suggests, you’ll become smarter, more efficient and learn faster once your brain adjusts. And certain parts of your brain - the parts that are worried about your baby’s safety, development and well-being - actually go into overdrive. “You’re on the mother beat all the time. It requires certain parts of your brain to work hyper, hyper, hyper well,” Brizendine said. “But it requires other parts of your brain to play second fiddle.”

That would explain why I lost track of what day of the week or sometimes even what month it was, but could tell with amazing accuracy how long it had been since my baby had been fed. I couldn’t keep concentration long enough to finish a chapter in a novel, but could focus on a game of “your feet are soooo stinky” as long as Owen kept smiling. I tuned out most background noise, but could detect a change in his breathing or the tiniest whimper from across the house.

One unexpected side effect of momnesia? It affects your long-term parenting memories. I learned this when my older boys started asking questions like “What was my first word?” and “When did I start walking?” I’m amazed by how much I’ve forgotten about their babyhood - even the adorable stuff I was sure I’d remember forever.

My “baby” is now almost - gulp - two-and-a-half, and during the last year or so I’ve seen signs that my brain is slowly but surely returning to normal. I’m back to reading entire books from beginning to end instead of starting one, getting two chapters in and forgetting about it until I find it under the bed a few months later. OK, so I still mix up my kids’ names, but I might be doing that forever.

Having been in the throes of momnesia for most of the last ten years, I wonder if I’ll be amazed at how well my brain functions once Owen’s 4 or 5 years old. On the other hand, I think I’ll kind of miss that slightly fuzzy, baby-focused mindset. In a culture where we’re all expected to be running around here and there and thinking on our feet all the time, it’s nice to be able to take a mental break and just hone in on a sweet little baby.

So moms, if you’re feeling a little scatterbrained, don’t worry about it: it serves a function, and it’ll pass. But take it from me: do get out that journal or baby book and start writing down those cute things your baby is doing.

Now. Before you forget.

Thanks to Veronica for meme tagging me!

Here are the rules:
A. Post the rules at the beginning.

B. Answer the questions about yourself.

C. Tag 5 people and let them know in a comment on their blogs that they have been tagged.
Toni, Carrie, Annie, Jen, and Lauren.

What Was I Doing 10 Years Ago?It’s very hard to believe this, but ten years ago Jacob was almost six months old! Let’s see, I think we had just moved to Michigan from Nashville, TN, where we lived for about a year. Truthfully, I don’t remember a whole lot else about that time.

Snacks I Enjoy: Popcorn (homemade is best, but I’ll take Homestyle by Pop Secret in a pinch), chocolate (love Hershey’s Kisses and the caramel-filled Ghiardelli milk chocolate squares), brie and crackers with a little bit of something sweet like jam or fruit, chips and dip.

Five Things on my To-Do List Today: 1) Write a column (done!) 2) Finish a Q&A…due today 3) Okay, that’s all I’ve got. The kids are on spring break and we’re traveling this weekend–maybe I should pack? 4) think about how I really should be packing 5) forget packing until tomorrow and have a glass of wine instead.

Things I Would Do if I Became a Billionaire: Buy a house on Lake Michigan…somewhere, AND a condo downtown, pay off all debt, give each of my family members a buttload of money so we could all hang out together and go on vacations, and spend my time writing, hanging out with my family and lobbying for worthy causes.

Three Bad Habits: too much time online, NOT EXERCISING ENOUGH, procrastination

Five Places I Have Lived: all over Michigan, Minneapolis, MN, Nashville, TN, South Bend, IN, and Chicago.

Jobs I Have Had: Freelance writer (current, obviously), waitress at Steak N Shake (The paper cap–dear God, that was awful), Mary Kay lady (didn’t even wear makeup at the time–not sure how that happened), temp for health insurance company (had to re-route angry customers into a voicemail I knew was not being checked…over and over) and corn detasseler, when I was 14

Things People Don’t Know About Me: I can touch my nose with my tongue.

Please, read my latest post at Chicago Moms Blog.

And then if you feel the need, go ahead and yell at me. I can take it…I think.

Now that my older two boys are a few months past their eighth and tenth birthdays, I’m facing some new parenting territory: how independent should they be at this age, and how do I walk that delicate line between age-appropriate sheltering and smothering?

Not to go all “back in my day” on you, readers, but by the time I was 8 years old there was scarcely a spot within a mile radius of my house that I hadn’t covered, on bike, foot or both. It wasn’t unusual for kids to have that kind of freedom then … all my friends joined me as I romped around the neighborhood, to the corner store, in and out of backyards.

To allow your children that much freedom and that little direct supervision these days is practically seen as neglect. In fact, depending on how you interpret the laws, in some states it might be illegal to let your kids - even big kids of 11 or 12 - play alone at the neighborhood park or walk themselves to school. And even though I always meant to give my kids more opportunities for independence than the average kid might get, it was hard to fight back against a tide of fear-based messages that parents are inundated with today:

“You can’t turn your back even for a second!”

“The world is a dangerous place, and parents can’t be too careful!”

So I didn’t let my boys ride their bikes all the way around the block, or go to the playground alone, or navigate their own trip to the store for a candy bar. It wasn’t that I thought they were at much risk for befalling a terrible fate, but because their friends’ parents were saying “no” and it felt strange to go against the socially-acceptable grain.

I spoke to Mike Lanza, founder of Playborhood.com, a Web site dedicated to creating neighborhoods where children can - and want to - play freely. He says that while fear for their children’s safety is one of the biggest reasons that parents are wary of letting their kids roam the neighborhood, the fear may be misplaced: as he points out, the risk of a child being killed as a pedestrian or abducted or killed by a stranger combined only adds up to one-third the risk of kids being killed as passengers in a car.

And then there are the soaring rates of childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes that have coincided with kids’ increasing move away from outdoor and active play.

Could it be that driving our kids everywhere and letting them stay indoors is less safe then letting them run around outside or walk places themselves?

Numerous researchers and the American Academy of Pediatrics deem unstructured free play “essential.” And that kind of play, says Lanza, happens most naturally outdoors, in multi-age groups of children … with minimal direct organization or supervision from grown-ups.

According to Lanza, the public needs a shift in perception. “In generations past, it was a no-brainer to let your kids run around outside all day, but now, the no-brainer is keeping them in the house,” he said. “We need to get the message out there that letting children play outside is good and responsible parenting.”

The bottom line is, I want my kids to know the kids in the neighborhood, to ride their bikes to the park and play in the dirt and pick up sticks and lay under trees … without my having to organize every last second of it for them. I think it’s an important part of childhood, and it’s not something I’m willing to let my kids go without. After all, lfe is full of risks, and there’s no way to eliminate them even if we keep our kids under lock and key. But do we want our children to live their lives looking fearfully over their shoulder - or live that way ourselves? There must be some comfortable middle ground between constant hovering and neglect.

I know the urge to cushion those precious offspring in protective bubble wrap, but as it turns out, that may not be the best way to raise happy, healthy kids.

It seems scary and unfamiliar, but maybe the best thing we can do for them is loosen the reins a bit.

this post will be cross-posted at Chicago Moms Blog.