So I meant to continue my thoughts about parental distraction over the weekend, but it’s just been one of those weeks: a few deadlines, some worries in my personal life, and then every. last. kid. in the house got sick with some kind of flu-ey virus, culminating in a trip to the doctor tonight for the littlest of us (The diagnosis? A case of barky, scary-sounding, but ultimately, not likely to be serious croup). As an aside, I just loved watching the young student who did our “intake” put the pieces together tonight as he guessed at a diagnosis. I’d wondered if it was croup before I left the house, but once we went outside into the cold air and he immediately improved, I was pretty convinced. It was so cute to see the intern’s face light up as I fed him symptom after symptom and he pieced them together to come up with the right answer. I also must say I was very impressed at the fact that the doctor, who is new to us due to an insurance change, 1) answered the phone HIMSELF and immediately arranged for us to come in and see him, and 2) praised the fact that my youngest is still nursing. Overall, a very pleasant experience to have with a new doctor.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, distraction. See, I’m too distracted to even focus on my own distraction…

So I’ve pegged the culprit in our house: it’s this damned computer.

The thing is, we NEED the computer. My husband, for example, makes his living from knowing about computers, and I do the bulk of my research and communication with editors via the ‘net. But it’s only too easy to let this computer intrude into every last moment of the day if we let it. After all, it’s easy to carry a laptop to the breakfast table, then leave it there through dinner, until it’s time to go to bed with your spouse–sitting next to each other clickety-clacking away. I’d like to say that never happens in our house, but it does, and more than I’m comfortable with.

Part of the problem is that I’ve got a hard time drawing boundaries between my work time and family time. Since I’ve been a work-at-home mom for years, I’ve gotten in the habit of trying to work in little snippets, while the kids are (finally) entertaining themselves or napping. But none of them are babies anymore…not even the baby, really. My big kids are at school for a big chunk of the day, and when they’re not, they need to know that I’m here, available, and tuned in. For me, that’s going to have to mean shutting my laptop and just walking away during those crucial evening hours between 5:00 nd 9:00 PM (okay, 9:30 if I also want to get the dishes done. And if I want to spend time with my spouse, I’d be better off just leaving the thing shut).

It sounds obvious…but for people who make a living by being connected with others through their modems at various times of the day…or for those of us who’ve gotten used to meeting deadlines late at night or whenever we can find a moment, it can be really difficult to close off that connection. But ultimately, I think, worth it.

For other parents, maybe the computer isn’t such a problem. Maybe you’re glued to your cell phone (not a problem for me, as I frequently forget to charge my cell phone and pretty much refuse to answer it in public). Maybe you get lost in evening programs on TV. Whatever the issue, are you missing out on important stuff by being distracted? Is there a three-hour block of time you could set aside every night to bite the bullet, shut down that distraction and walk away? (For a good reality check about the importance of all these gadgets, read The Simple Family’s recent post on technology).

Honestly, thinking about not touching my computer between 5 and 8:30 every night gives me the twitches. Not only am I used to being “available”, but I’m used to the instant gratification that only the internet can provide. But let’s face it: when was the last time I actually got an important e-mail after 5? And even if I did, there’s no reason it couldn’t wait until the next morning to be answered.

Because I really don’t want my kids to think of me as a human permanently connected to a laptop. That would be creepy. And besides, there are just better things to be doing. Like doing a jigsaw puzzle or playing a round of Sorry. Going for a walk or baking banana bread

Or like those dishes, still waiting in the sink. Sigh.