Okay, so I’ve got a handle on the video game issue . Now comes the hard part: time to address what’s going on with Mom and Dad that allowed the whole thing–that, and other undesirable behaviors–to take root in the first place.

In a nutshell, that would be: distraction.

We’re busy people. I balance deadlines around sick days, snow days and kids-running-amok days. Jon works long hours and often brings his work home with him. With all the distractions around here, it’s very easy for our work lives to have no end at all but simply stretch out in all directions until we’re “working” from the moment we get up until the moment we pass out at night.
Of course, the longer we stretch out that work, the more I find we both screw around and waste time, too. After all, it would be way depressing to sit at the computer all day if you couldn’t take a break every ten minutes to check out lolcats or something.

But lately, I’ve been spending way too much time distracted. I respond when the kids address me, but too often it’s one of those: “Hmmm? Mmmm…yes….ummmmm, one second” kind of responses you tend to give when you’re in engrossed in something (that’s, most of the time, actually not all that engrossing) on the computer.

Maybe 1/10 of those times, whatever I’m engrossed in is actually worthy of putting my kids off so I can finish (typing those last two words in an important e-mail, finishing a sentence in an article so I don’t forget what I was trying to say later). In those cases I don’t mind asking my kids to wait a minute or two. The other 9/10 of the time? Nope. It’s some silly message board post I only started reading because I was bored. Or some e-mail I don’t need to read in the first place.

And here’s the thing–when you’re constantly distracted, your kids know it. And that’s when they ask questions like “Mom, can I drink a Coke?” to which you say “Hmmm? Oh, I guess, honey…just get some for all your siblings, too. Don’t forget the baby, okay?” They run off gleefully and ten minutes later you startle back to life and say “Wait–WHAT did I just tell them they could do?”

Soon, you have your answer, as four kids hopped up on caffeine and corn syrup start chasing their non-existent tails around the living room.

My point? Distraction is normal and natural, and nobody can be 100% attentive all the time. But there comes a point when you’re distracted more often than you’re present, and that’s when you don’t really pay attention to all the great details of life going on all around you. And, you accidentally do things like authorize Coke consumption in all four of your young boy children. Yikes.

I found myself in this position recently, and am working hard on pushing back against those distractions in my life now. I’ll post more about the solutions I’m working on soon.