So where did we leave off? Ah yes, my last video game post told the lovely tale of how this techno-skeptic mama wound up with a house full of screen junkies. Now, the bazillion-dollar question: How to stuff that cat back in the bag?

I tried the obvious route: setting limits. I really did. But my kids’ widely varying personalities made this nearly impossible. First you’ve got Jacob, the “Rules Were Made To Be Broken” kid. Set a rule, and he’ll try to find 101 ways of weaseling out of it, getting around it, or outsmarting it. For instance, I set a rule that the kids could play video games for a half-hour each day, and I got a constant stream of this from Jacob:

“Mom, I got on at 3:40, but then it took two minutes for the game to load, so can I get an extra two minutes?”
“Mom, I had to go to the bathroom and that took three minutes, does it count?”
“Mom, I let Isaac play my guy to get me out of the swamp; shouldn’t that count as his time instead of mine?”

Of course, to me, the 30-minute-rule was really just an estimate–I wasn’t timing him with a stopwatch. So I didn’t much care about his bathroom breaks…but it’s not like I could tell HIM that or else my credibility would have gone right down the drain. Thus, he drove me completely insane with his constant badgering.

Isaac, on the other hand, ONLY responds to rules. So if he’s on the XBox and it seems like he’s been on a little too long, I can’t just say “Isaac, shut it off now” without a fight. He’ll look shocked and genuinely confused. “But why?” he’ll say, looking completely befuddled. Set a timer for Isaac and he’ll follow it. Of course, you can’t set a timer for one kid and let the other go on the “when Mom thinks you’ve had enough” rule for the other without a huge fuss, as I came to find out.

William, my four-year-old, has entered a phase in his life where he’s getting smarter, more independent, and, well, bossy. Not only does he not really understand the concept of how long 30 minutes is, but every time I’d try to set a limit, he’d launch a debate, hands on hips, with threats like “If I don’t get to play I’m going to be really ANGRY!” (okay, son….go for it.)

Soon it felt like my life was being ruled by video games: There was the begging to become a “member” on some Internet role-playing game. There was the begging for one more minute, Mom, please? The squabbles over who got to get on the laptop first. Bickering over which game to play on the XBox. Fights over whom was going to give who various weaponry and gold within the game. And then, when I’d had enoughand made them turn it off, I got to listen to them talking about the game, rehashing all their glorious battles and quests. I think the last straw was when William, had a semi-meltdown because we couldn’t log into Club Penguin (which is really a very cute and innocent game…but not worthy of tears and tantrums). At some point, I just lost it and said ENOUGH!

I’m tired of looking at the top of my kid’s head over a laptop screen at the dining-room table!
I’m tired of seeing blank stares!
I’m tired of our world revolving around whose turn it is to play which games next!

So our solution, for now, is as follows:
No video or computer games during the school week, period.
Friday night and Saturday, knock yourselves out.
Sunday is family day, so depending on what’s going on that day, there will be time limits. If there is any arguing over the time limits…if I so much as hear a single word about them…the games are turned off that day, period.

My hope is that Saturdays, we’ll have enough to do that the kids won’t actually sit in front of the games all day. However, I do want them to feel like they are getting a chance to indulge one day a week–because it’ll be nice for me to have a day off from my Mean Old Curmudgeon role.

I’ll keep ya posted as to how this expermient turns out…and move on to Disconnect #2: Distracted Parents next.