Every now and then I get non-fan mail, whether it’s from somebody who disagrees with my opinion, dislikes my writing style, or just seems to despise me in general. Usually I just shrug and move on, but today I got a nasty-gram with a big glaring assumption in it that made my eyes roll back so far in my head I nearly saw my own brains. Here’s the e-mail, in a reaction to my latest column about snow days, which was meant to be humorous but apparently didn’t come across that way to all readers.

“Ben” of the Lansing, MI area says (emphasis mine, just to point out glaring sexist assumption):

Meagan,

I just read your article in the LSJ about how snow days are stressful for you. I would like to make a suggestion. Perhaps it would be more beneficial for the readers to read about ways to keep kids entertained and satiated rather than whining about how stressful it is to keep them occupied. What really gets me is when you mentioned that you were going to request that your spouse stay home with the kids on the next snow day. Your spouse… who works full time so that you can stay home with the kids. Come on. Get with the program. We (the readers) need to have intelligent, productive materials in our media. Not a play-by-play of unruly children.

Um. Not quite. I couldn’t help but respond:

Hi Ben,

Actually, I am a work at home mom, and juggle my family responsibilities while also earning the other half of our family’s income. Like any other parent, my life is a balance of fun and stress, and I try to reflect that reality in my column, which varies widely in topic from week to week. I can appreciate if the column isn’t your cup of tea, but must correct your assumption about my work life. If you have never yet, please try taking four kids to your place of work sometime and see how you feel by the end of the day. My guess is you might do a bit of whining yourself.

Of course, it really doesn’t matter whether I’m an at-home mom, a working outside the home mom, or a mix of the two: the fact is, parenting is stressful, and straying from the usual routine (like on a snow day) can add another layer of stress. But I love how he just had to stand up for my tortured, overworked husband there. I’m such an ingrate! I think I’ll forward his e-mail to my husband just so he knows somebody’s on his side, poor guy.

Ben, and all the Bens of the world, I’m going to use your own words: Come on, man. Get with the program.